Symphonies of a curious mind

With excitement that knows no bounds, I present to you my first book.
The beautiful cover has been designed by my younger brother @kumar.shrey95 who has adorned this hard work of mine with his art.
This book is the result of endless sleepless nights and my thoughts that have come to me over the years.
Symphonies of a Curious Mind will be my first book and I need all of your support and blessings for the same.
Coming this 2020.
Thank you.

More of you…

Take my hand,
And give me your all,
Close your eyes,
And see through mine,
The colors of the sky,
The warmth of the Sun,
The buzzing of the bees,
Working hard to gather nectar sweet,
For them, the others and us,
A little of the dirt,
That had escaped my hands,
Sands on the beach,
The shells that are no more,
Take my hand,
And take it all,
Whatever I have left,
The little of my being,
And the more of you,
The little of me,
And the more of you…..

Seasons…

I know it can be difficult,
The Mornings don’t please you much,
The nights are darker than before,
It takes too much effort to move,
And your hands tremble on lifting your bags,
The winds whoosh past you,
The trees do not move,
You close your eyes and see those,
The ones lost to time and circumstances strange,
Hold on to the memories sweet,
The nectar of years that amalgamate with your skin,
And create a scent that will last for eternities,
As you remember them,
Their voice and the way they moved,
It will be easy someday,
I have heard time heals most of the scars,
Cry for long as long as it clears your heart,
Crystal, glass and transparent as before,
And you let someone again inside your heart,
For love will find you and heal you,
It will be all worth someday,
It will be easy someday,
I promise as I hold your hands,
And we walk through the gardens wilted due to cold,
The Season shall change soon….

To Sunsets and Beyond…

The seed that germinates in the soil so warm,
The ancient carriers of messages in dust,
Hugs it tight and brings it dreams,
Of fields green and the skies golden,
The seed slowly pops out the ground,
A baby before and a tree now,
And accumulates within the enigmas of the world,
The beating heart and the formless soul,
That travels the annals of time,
And the waves blue,
It survives and brings shade to the little on the ground,
A thousand years and countless memories later,
The seed it completes its life here,
For one last time it sees the Sun going down the Horizon,
The wind that will hit it not again,
The birds that will nest on branches other,
It closes its eyes and tries to sleep,
As slowly it dissolves into the ground,
The dust, the Earth, The Universe its very own……

With tears in our eyes and trembling hands, we bid goodbye to Joy on this 16th. It was painful to see him go and it won’t be easy. Seeing him everyday was a habit and now that we cannot see him anymore, pains us beyond repair. Some would think how can an animal who cannot talk or express their emotions can become someone so special, maybe I cannot explain that to you. It is a privilege to have witnessed a life grow in-front you and become something so special. Dogs(for me) will always be more than many people roaming this earth because they love you without asking for anything. They don’t need any branded clothes or any clothes for that matter. They will eat the simplest of foods and still come to you wagging their tails. It’s something that words can never do justice to. Pets complete our lives in ways that many couldn’t. 

We tried our best to help Joy recover from whatever ailed him but to no avail. It was like his life was serious to us only. But none of that matters now as he finally has found peace and we hope that he rests in peace. 

He was born of dust and now maybe the soil will bring him dreams of fields that have no fences or borders or people that want to chase him away. He can live his dreams that we saw him dream as he ran in his sleep and moved his legs. 

I thank you all who had shown empathy towards Joy and I thought it was deserving of you to know what happened with him. 

Joy shall always remain the perfect family member. 

दो पंख

मुझ में कुछ तेरा भी था,
तुझमें मैं सारा सा,
ना जाने कहाँ से आया था तू,
ना जाने कहाँ गया तू,
अब उम्र जो रह गयी है मेरी,
बस सोचूँगा हर रोज़ ये,
अगली मुलाक़ात शायद होगी जब,
फ़िर से खिल उठेंगे हम दोनो,
सूरज नहीं ढलेगा कभी,
और उड़ने को होंगे हमारे दो पंख…..

An Ode to Friendship

This post is an emotional one and a very private one indeed. I had to write this as the emotions inside me are just too overwhelming to be told to anyone. For those kind enough to read through this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and believe that you shall respect this very intimate feeling. 


It was the year 2011 and I had just started to go to a college. There was lot of excitement and fear about the college life. The college was completely a different thing for someone like me who had been a studious student to the school. As I tried to blend in with the new environment, a day my mother called me and said to me that she found a snake in the kitchen. We all were worried and as the college got over, I got back to the house and all four of us began to talk. I had always wanted a dog and I thought that this might be the only opportunity that I would get, so I proposed getting a Labrador as I heard stories about their sniffing powers. My parents immediately dejected this idea and shunned me away. But I was persistent. Days and days after requesting them, they finally agreed on getting a Labrador Puppy.  We did some research on the internet and found a number that dealt with them. Everything was decided and the person who just had a Labrador Puppy decided to give one to us. I remember it was a Sunday and the person lived at a distance of about 3-4 hours. All of us were excited and we even prepared a little bed for the puppy to come. The person came and he had the puppy in a shoe box. He was so small that he couldn’t open his eyes. We took him and gave him some milk and let him rest on the cold floor. He was so small that when he slept he put his entire face in the  slipper. I tried to comfort him  by putting him in my arms. The next thing came on naming him. We had decided on all kinds of names but my Mother was persistent on one name-Joy. He was named Joy as in a way he had brought joy in our lives. Days passed and he grew so fast. He loved going out on his walks and would pull us like crazy. He had immense strength so much so that once my mother tried to take him for a walk, he pulled and she fell down. Since that day it was either me or my brother who would take him for his walks. We had seen many dogs perform tricks, so one day we decided to teach him some. The first thing was sitting down. We would take some treats and teach him to sit down. He got so perfect in so less time that we were amazed. We didn’t even have to tell him, just showed our finger and we would sit down. We also taught him to shake his hand. He would like a gentleman sit down and always give his right hand to shake. Everyone was same for him. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. He was especially famous with the kids of the locality. Whenever my mother used to sit in the morning to pray he would sit besides her and watch her as she did her prayers. Just like a honest disciple, he watched everything what his teacher did. Joy loved playing with clothes and he would bring us a piece of clothe and ask to hold one end while he pulled on the other and would love chasing people. I remember I would slightly push him with my leg and he would chase me around the entire house until either he was tired or I was tired. Everyday when we came back he would come running to us and lay his entire body weight on us. He has been someone who has listened to some of my deepest secrets and has stood by me for so long that seeing a day without him is almost close to impossible.

For Nine years Joy has eaten by my mother’s hand. Every single day my mother has fed joy like she would feed us, requesting him to eat his food, sometimes even getting angry at him. It broke all ours heart when Joy stopped eating food. Nothing seemed to work and all of us were helpless. Seeing someone so close to you and the way they adore something such as food, not accepting it has shattered me to many pieces. I have cried so much and so more that there was a moment of weakness I had started to believe in something I didn’t hoping that a miracle might happen and he would start eating. I haven’t seen such a weak Joy ever since he came as a little puppy. I could never carry him in my arms as every time I tried to, he would growl at me. But he cannot walk now and every time I have to carry him, every fibre inside me cries but still I keep a straight face for my family because I know if I cannot hold myself together, they would lose it too. I have lost some people that I have loved in all my entirety and I know that I might recover from this loss. Its hard to accept that a creature so loving and so loyal can leave you so soon. They have such small lifetimes. My mother had said this to me while I held Joy in my arms and my brother was driving us to the hospital this Saturday. Diwali this year was so painful. Everyone tried to put up a happy face but deep down they knew that this might be Joy’s last Diwali and the worst part of it is that we cannot even feed him the things he so much loved. I am writing this after trying to feed him something.

I want to write so much more but my throat has run dry and my hands are trembling at the thought of losing Joy. I want to tell you so much more about the wonderful things he did for us and how he saved us from the darkness while he fought his own demons but I cannot. I have considered myself to be an expressive fellow who knows what to say and when to say it but this moment, this situation has made my gut helpless reaching for words. This post was my way of dealing with such a magnanimous loss although I want him to recover and if there is god, he knows we are trying our best. Whatever happens I just want him to go peacefully in his sleep, to the fields where Sun is always up and the winds carry a scent of lavender. I just hope someday I will meet him again……

Ishq

The almighty rarely crosses my mind,
For I believe in empathy that balances the earth,
My being is the carrier of dreams dissolved,
In enigmas of the world,
Love me till the day My mind conspires,
And makes me feel,
The Sun has come up due to some divine will,
Leave a little love for me to spend,
The rest of my days in peace,
I grovel and break into pieces,
Let me not bury this deep…..

Breath

I will carry you to gardens of blue rose you like,
And bring you the sweet serenades,
For part of my being are you,
And your whole life mine,
My hands lose the sands that have our memories etched,
In glasses of fragrant silica,
Helplessness is what consumes me,
While I try to hold your breath…..

Dreams real….

I had a dream,
While I slept,
And walked through the earth,
It showed me places of happiness,
The ones that beam of glory,
Brought me gifts of the sound,
The space and the sky,
The dream was surreal sometimes,
The other set down with the rising Sun,
But the dream stayed with me,
When the temporary shifted to dust,
And the few sediments remained,
That stayed with me and stay still,
As I nurtured myself and carried myself through the fog,
One can only imagine the peace such a dream could bring,
When the letters gain the spirit,
And adorn vessels tangible,
You see the sunlight,
And it doesn’t burn you down….

Sunflower

I dream of palaces big,
Those that have carpets exquisite,
And behold in them secrets of ages,
Ugly and sweet,
I sometimes dream of lovers,
That carry me to orchards of apples,
The mesmerising scent of the fresh apple juice,
Sweet and sour,
This wretched heart of mine sometimes weep,
When a song close to it comes next in my playlist,
Blasting through my ears onto my mind,
Triggering the emotions kept well intact in it,
But I have a tendency to overcome that emotion,
Maybe the next song takes me to a place serene,
I lay down my guard and let it work through,
The ravines that had dried eons ago,
And I sow seeds of love in places,
Where fire had turned the petals to ash,
The sky turned amber and the wind terrifying,
Music brings me relief,
The rain does to the scorching land,
I cry, I laugh and sometimes dance to the tunes of jazz,
They fuel my soul,
The sun to the sunflower……..

Snowman….

The snow fell down the sky onto her lap,
And to her heart deep,
Secrets buried in the summer had started to breathe,
As winter gave her the relief absconding since many nights,
She opened her eyes to watch the snowflake rest on her shoulders,
The trees shielding her from the hail,
A Snowman she had started to make,
For her secrets burned her chest in light amorphous,
And lay havoc to her intestines,
The Snowman emerged from the ashes of her past,
Eyes of future, Hands in present,
He slowly grew a soul,
Maybe her offspring, 
An affair untold,
He poured rainbows over her secrets,
Let mist work its way through,
The secrets now out in the open,
She didn’t care,
Freedom touched her feet,
And glory sang ballads,
The winter was kind to her,
She hid behind the clothes unfit,
And the warmth of the fireplace cold,
The Snowman was her,
And entirely hers,
Sleep eventually came back to her,
The Snowflake had reached her lungs…………..

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Chains

The chains creep into my bed at night,
They slowly take over my feet first,
Making it hard to move,
Status quo is what they demand,
But I never sought out to them,
The letters I wrote in times of desperation,
Did not even,
I try to break them everytime the sun brushes against my window,
Rusted, toxic, clinging to my skin,
Generations before me,
Generations after,
Some see these chains as my birth mark,
The one I have to live with,
Forever and after,
My life a privilege,
They say,
I hammer these chains,
Try to jump,
Bite them with all my might,
Some teeth fell out,
My hands bleeding,
But they never break,
For they are made of what men said,
And wrote for men to follow,
The truthful, the pristine,
Or a devious plan…..

Tumultuous Belly…..

She walked through her father’s garden,
Where lilies told stories of love,
And honey bees nested on the windows,
Often alone she would mix with the trees,
The trees carried her secrets in their rings,
And spoke of seasons fair and dark,
When the wooden bridge broke,
And the river flooded the streets,
The trees would often sing to her,
Their branches dancing to her rhythms,
Or she liked to believed so,
For she saw the skies with her blue eyes,
Puddled with dreams of the sea,
And the desire for a shore,
She would often gaze into the infinity,
Sometimes a messenger would come,
Carrying the news of her homelands,
Where she was born,
Where she intended to die,
The other she would spend the day,
Plucking off weeds in her hair,
And tiding them for something,
Only she knew,
Maybe someone that would bring her peace,
The tumultuous belly of her being…..

Letters

I write letters,
For the smell of ink,
And the touch of parchment,
Withers away a part of my soul,
Brings it warmth sometimes,
The autumn becomes my guard,

I write letters,
For the words carry,
The news of the distant,
And speaks of emotions,
I like to preserve them in my box,
The one I got the day it rained,

I write letters
For I don’t believe,
The words that spill out of mouths,
That change in a second,
Or were they ever true,
They have an impeccable memory,

I write letters,
Of love to the ones I crave,
That took my heart,
And put them back in my chest,
Sunlight sometimes shines on them,
Termites never feast on them,

I write letters,
My body aches for those,
Darkness engulfs it,
And belches them on my bed,
I ain’t proud,
My stomach growls with disgust,

I write letters,
My past and my tomorrow,
Change is inevitable,
Change is necessary,
But the mould, it stays still,
The roots rarely melt,

I seldom write letters,
To myself,
Glory eventually touches their feet,
Those who shine at night,
The day is yet to come,
Some letters still on their way,

And I sometimes read the letters,
Carved in my blood,
Those bring me happiness,
And fly me to the Moon,
I keep them on my desk,
To read them aloud,
Whenever thunder rattles my windows,
And shakes up my house,
They give me power,
Letters of faith and hope,
The love I got,
And the love yet to come,
And I wait,
For I believe,
A letter will reach its spot……

Night….(explicit)

I let my guard down,
As she slowly pounced over my body,
Her claws reaching parts deep,
Damaging the years of broken promises,
She devoured the meat cold yet full of blood,
Obvious with her terror,
And with the awe of her power,
I let her bite me and mend the wounds,
Her bodily fluids mixed with mine,
She took over me,
And ripped me to pieces,
As I lay back in exhaustion,
Perspiring in the act and after,
The night hasn’t even begun yet….

Memory…..

I collect ages in my eyes,
The slow songs Autumn plays,
Whenever this wretched heart of mine,
Weeps for you,
I surreptitiously etch the days of my glory on the veins my father cast in gold,
On himself, the house, the kisses he gave me each night,
For him I am his biggest reward,
He tells me each day,
This mind becomes a grinder of sorts,
Memories that bring me smiles,
Of places, the faces lost and that stayed,
Behemoth it becomes and takes over my body,
Sometimes when I lay in the sand,
The cold water of the ocean washes my feet,
Heals the wounds that kilometres brought me,
The messages that never reached me, 
The things I could never say,
Nature sings a lullaby to me,
I am her son lost to the routine,
I seldom close my eyes,
For I want to become redundant,
Impractical, impatient, ignorant,
As I become weak,
For someone to carry me,
But I beam of sunlights when darkness dissolves my being,
My mother she brought me food that she couldn’t eat,
Bruised and still working till her breath,
I collect everything in my eyes,
My memory rarely eludes me,
The firsts, the birthdays and the lasts,
It’s satanic and angelic,
The two sides of a coin,
And as I creep towards the things still not in shape,
I talk and pull myself together,
My memory becomes my biggest weapon,
And the partner that helps me craft poetries sublime,
Makes me smile again,
Live that moment once again,
And I etch it on paper,
The ink it bleeds for me,
The hues of skies,
That day,
And I become one with myself,
The memories rarely eludes me……