With excitement that knows no bounds, I present to you my first book. The beautiful cover has been designed by my younger brother @kumar.shrey95 who has adorned this hard work of mine with his art. This book is the result of endless sleepless nights and my thoughts that have come to me over the years. Symphonies of a Curious Mind will be my first book and I need all of your support and blessings for the same. Coming this 2020. Thank you.
तो क्या हुआ जो आसमाँ आज साफ़ नही, हवाओं में कुछ गुमशुदा सा है, कुछ भीगी भीगी सी आस है, मद्धम सी चल रही नदियाँ हैं,
तो क्या हुआ नींद नहीं आ रही है, करवटें बदल बदल के तुमने जो रातें काटी हैं, ना रात गुज़र रही है, सूरज जैसे कहीं छुपा सा है,
तो क्या हुआ जो रास्ते उलझे उलझे से, शक के धुएँ में मंज़िल नज़र नहीं आती है, मैं किस और जाऊँ, क्या यही मेरी राह गुज़र है,
मैं सोचता सब हूँ, सोचता शायद कुछ भी नहीं, एक ख़याल ज़रूर आज आया है, तो क्या हुआ जो नहीं मैं जो होना था, जो हूँ शायद नहीं भी होता, मगर यह ख़याल आज जाने दे, की आज मैं मुझमें कुछ रहना चाहता हूँ, की आज बस सोना चाहता हूँ…….
I am a regular man, Who feels the wind on his face, The cold soft breeze, Hot and thorny sometimes, For I see through small viscera, The fabric of time, The minuscule, timid that intimidates me sometimes, As I lay down to relax, On my bed, my abode, But I am a regular man, That sleeps sometimes through the terrible storms, And sometimes pick up a hammer to nail the wriggling seasoned doors on my facia, Nothing much to hide, Not much to show, A plaid, straight old rhythm, Somewhat like the Beethoven’s Für Elise, Regular, easy….
I draw myself closer, Closer to the serenity of the ocean, That moves harmonically over mountains in its belly, The salt that seeps through my skin, Open wounds and scrunched memories, I draw myself closer, Closer to what the heart says, For the mind isn’t my friend anymore, It concocts imaginary devils, That pierce me with their claws and hooves and horns, I draw myself closer, Closer to the idea of loving myself a little more, For what I have is real, Or is reality a drama of the mind…?
I smile through the days and nights, When the Sun rises slowly through the dark, And Winds bellow loudly amongst the trees, The fruits fall over the heads of passengers, The water that touches feet of the unknown,
I smile through seasons and rains, The summer makes me dance and shine, The songs the little caprices play, Over mountains laden with snow, And the skies that paint with clouds,
I smile through mysteries and the uncontrollable, For man rarely has control over them, The twinkling of stars, Life on a distant Moon, Somewhere its day and the other nights,
I smile for smile is what I have, The little creeks on my cheeks, The wrinkles of the ages when the Sun wasn’t up, And I slept for days weren’t kind, The nights smelt of disappointment, And I was never hungry, For I know now what it means to be happy, A bag full of sunshine and a grain of night, A drop in the ocean and a flight amongst the planets, It is everything and nothing at all, A perfect oxymoron, Isn’t happiness just a state of mind……………..
I sink over the oceans, My legs tied and my hands cuffed, I breathe for my senses still work, My mind numb from the coldness of the ocean, Heart slowly withering down, My life flashes before my eyes, For they want to comfort me, The harshness of the salt, And the deadening silence of the night, Pull me down, Down under the bleak sunlight, I gasp for air, For to breathe I still remember……
Bereft from the identity accorded to myself, I slowly dissolve in the middle of the night, As waves of malign sincerity infest me, I keep my eyes shut, And clench my wrists over the sheets drenched with my sweat, Rarely and remotely my body derives a mind of its own, For it behaves in manners strange to me, I see clouds in my room, And valleys over my head, I slowly dissolve into an oblivion, As something vicious pulls me down, That doesn’t come to me in the day, But as the day sets and moon knocks on my door, It becomes a part of me, Something necessary, like the saint who needs his daily whiskey, I close my eyes and shut them with my bare hands, Maybe sleep will make it better…………….?
I see dreams wrapped in satin wraps, Those speak of places filled with gold, The roads where are always straight, And speak of plenty and plenty more, Once a while I too see, Little packets wrapped shabbily, Sometimes an old newspaper, Or a filthy old bag, They speak of insecurities and helplessness, That birth fighters among those that have cracked heels, Might be them that still maintain the balance, For dreams aren’t saved for those wooden floors, A balloon might pop once a while……
I bleed of the color pink, The rose withered and mixed with dirt, Of sometimes that brew a sharp cacophony, That meddles with my mind, My body already numb, My eyes often plays games, My fingertips as they lose their prints, Sensations of crisp mahogany, The freshly cut lavender, That blooms over the crescent of the moon, I sometimes hear your name, And see a mirage over the oasis you left for me, Water made of gold, I am always thirsty, As I bleed of the color pink, My clothes drenched with my nerves, I slowly bury myself, With sand over my nostrils, And ask my eyes to take some rest, I dream of you, And your dancing ballad……
My words brew a cold stillness, In the mornings when I am sore, As insomnia scares away my sleep, And insecurities cripple my legs, I drip onto parchments made of skin, My blood, my sweat and the ink in the color of my eyes, I find you in my kingdoms of prosperity, As reality burns me down…….
The wind that carries in it, The cold of the distant glacier, That melts everytime it hears your name, A ballad of sweet symphony, And the Oh so petite heart of mine, Why do you beat so more, The wind that carries in it, Your perfume made of gold, It breaks the chains ancient, Rusted and crippled with dust, The wind brings me peace, Just like that kiss of yours……
I splurge myself into pools filled with roses of all colors, For they bear a fragrant stillness, That incoherently drives me to sleep, Something auspicious, Divinely, When they call my name, And I close my eyes, A melody sweet……
I dream of things, Not tangible sometimes, The wind so cold, And the sun so warm, That slowly rivets to my lungs, That berefts me of senses sometimes, My world constricts itself easily, I dream of little, The things that my heart can see…..
I fall down the stairs of melamine, Slippery on the way down, That broached of a feline capacity, Something sticky, made if to fail, It calls me by name sometimes, And grabs my hands the other, The fake, forged feeling of warmth, I seek in the living that sometimes touch me, My eyes close seldom, For they wish that this was over, A peace they want, Not something described in words, A feeling of dancing lilies on the forehead, The slow breaths of your love, What more can one desire, The fall usually never leaves much to imagination……
मैं देखता हूँ कुछ उलझे से सपने, हथेली मैं जो लेके चलते हैं, वो कुछ खुरदुरे से टुकड़े गहरे, जहां मैं हूँ , जहां तुम हो, जहां सब हैं, शायद मंज़िल की तलाश है, या ढूँढते है ज़रा साफ़ सा आसमान, शायद कहीं जाना नहीं, उड़ना ही है शायद……..
A flower slowly that hugs the air, Opening up its petal for the outside world, A melody that catches ears adrift, And makes them wonder the soil it stands in, Clenching the little pebbles like the hands of a newborn, Its almost miraculous that nothingness creates something spectacular, Out of things extraordinary, That mingle around the dust settled, A similar kind of love, A man brings for his woman, Sweet, discrete, wrapped in layers of lavender, That slowly unravel and fills the air with fragrances eternal, He holds her hands with the utmost sincerity, Gentle and firm like the tendrils of Fuchsia, How hard a man can love, They are quick to ask, Just like the oysters buried in the sand, They bear pearls spectacular, It kills them to love her, They rejoice as she comes out pristine, For the world to see, Admire and fall in love, He lies on the ground motionless, For his love is complete, For the world to see, A man loves discretely, Just like the air that hugs a flower slowly, Its fragrance that travels around the globe, Like carnations in the sea……..