I don’t respect you. 

I have been watching the television a lot lately, mainly because anything productive was not coming out of me. As I was surfing through the channels I came across a reality show in which couples had to live with their in-laws before marriage, get to know them, learn about their culture and everything that would make them better Son-in-law or Daughter-in-law. In the episode, a man who wanted his fiancé to meet his parents asked her to dress up. He came to pick her up from her parent’s house and when he saw her he was bit taken aback. He had asked her to wear the traditional Indian wear and she was in the most casual dress one could ever wear. As he requested her to wear what he wanted, she threw up a fight. It might look completely normal when we see from a perspective of the girl but brings an all together different light when the thought process of a boy is taken in to consideration. 

Parents of nobody ever think ill of their children. No matter how much they grow up but for a parent they will always be their little child, the one they have spent their time and energy to make them someone they want them to be. No parent will ever want any harm to befall on their children and would never want them to make an outcaste, someone who is not a part of the society. So they feed their kids with values, with basic necessities of dealing with people so that they don’t lack at any place. These values form the basis of everything the child perceives. Sometimes the things he/she learns by themself,  helps him overcome something troubling him/her and sometimes he may remember how his parents dealt with a similar situation. The importance of what a parent teaches is not measurable. It stays with us at every part of life.

I, being born in an Indian family have always observed how my parents dealt with situations and people. The first thing they always did was to be polite because they always believe in seeing the reason behind something rather than raising their voice. But sometimes some don’t hear the polite, so they become the rudest person I have ever known. This is very fabric of adaptation that we as living beings have always taken very keen interest in. Studies conducted have shown life to evolve from Amoeba and as a single celled organism Amoeba needed to reproduce so that it may survive. It did and it did very simple and beautiful. It created parts of itself and created another being. Similar were the other levels of evolution. Fish came out of water to inhabit the land, so came the land animals. Then the sky had to be conquered, so came the birds. But then, someone had to maintain harmony among others, so more intelligent forms of life evolved. Home Sapiens came into existence or the more popular Humans as we all know. Adaptation was always the very essence of evolution. But evolution never meant starting from something new, it was creating something better of the already available. Do you see –  the already available. Yes, that’s the thing that helps evolution function. 

The programme I was watching had a twist of turn and the girl revolted against the decision his to – be husband had made for her. She cited the many modern laws in practice and told that this kind of thing is a thing of past. I was taken aback. Why would someone discard something that has been existing far longer than the lifetime of a single person, something that took a long time to come into shape, something that was infused with lives of the many who sacrificed themselves for the larger good they saw. 

Culture is the basic identity of a human being, more than any other living being.

Humans during the evolutionary process have realised that living  together is much safer and better than living alone and when we live together, we live as a single unit. Much like the cells of Amoeba, who when divided creates different but same organism. As humans came together and spread, they imbibed many things owing to the very ability to adapt. Some grew very tall, some grew very short, some developed a different skin tone, some were fast runners, some were heavy lifters. 

But all of them were the same. 

The circumstances, the environment, the situations made them what they became. But a man is nothing if he forgets his roots. If one day we decide, the only living thing that can live on this planet will be us, then apocalypse will come, nothing will remain. Similar is the case with culture. Kingdoms, many great Nations have fallen just because they thought of themselves more suitable than any other. But no civilisation ever flourished if they couldn’t adapt or in some form or other forgot their roots or started identifying themselves as other civilisations. Think this of if one day an elephant starts thinking itself of a dog, how will you take it out for a walk and the amount of you know what it would produce. You’ll be soaked in it. Or if someday you decide you want to be a bird or a Pizza(those things are addictive), God knows what may become. Possibilities here are unlimited. 

Modernity in the name of imitation is a preposterous concoction because then you won’t remain original.

 We live in a world of globalization, everything and anything is accessible to anyone who has the resources to get it. Ideas, things, people, money and cultures travel. Maybe not faster than light(because then how else will you be reading this) but it does travel at a pace which some may confuse as something better or something more likely to be ‘in fashion’. One must take pride in what they are because they have travelled a road to come where they are. It may not be a long distance but the fact that they kept moving is much greater than not moving at all or moving backwards. We can only appreciate the greatness of where we are only if we keep our roots in mind because no matter how humble roots were, they still are the strongest. But one should never let one’s pride blind him because once a great tree was a seed and once a now CEO of an organization started from the bottom. The example of Raavan is best suited here. Raavan was a pure genius. He was a scholar, an astronomer, a mathematician, an administrator, a warrior, a scientist, he had mastered the highest levels of meditation. But the only thing that killed him was his ego.

Pride can very easily turn into ego. The difference is hairline. 

I take pride(notice pride)  in wearing the traditional attire which has been laid down by my culture because that’s my very identity. I do sometimes wear what the dress code for a certain place demands but that doesn’t mean I would any day want to give away my identity for a new one. And why should I. There must be reason why we or for that matter any of us are the way we are. And it is perfectly fine if we don’t understand it right now but it will reveal itself to us one day. If some kind of attire brings happiness to the faces that mean a lot to us then the purpose is fulfilled. 

Respect is subjective. 

Respect for someone maybe touching feet of his elders or not honking unnecessarily when a person infront of you is as helpless as you are or maybe letting someone enter before you or maybe standing up when you speak to someone standing while you are sitting or listening to someone before you speak. Possibilities here as well are unlimited. But respecting the one’s and other’s culture is the most important of all because if it was not for respect, mutual coexistence would have never been possible. 

Later in the episode, the girl decided to wear Sari and she looked beautiful more than ever. 

The question I want to put up here is, what is your notion for respect. Mine is realising the presence of a living being in a surrounding around me. I may interact with you or maybe not but I still respect you until you do respect me and my presence and if you don’t, Then I have learnt a thing or two from my parents as well with a tinge of the globalized culture. 

I know five languages. 

39 thoughts on “I don’t respect you. 

  1. I completely agree with the fact that our culture is our identity as a native of the country and every other country is happy to boast about their respective traditions and culture except ours. Reason is definitely what you’ve mentioned too.A choice of dress is definitely your own individual right but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with modernization. Your likes and choices may differ and you might fail to follow your traditions but that should be your individual choice and not some vague modernization. I’m proud that I’ve been in a similar family that teaches to respect and understand perspectives. I’m glad that there are people like you who stand for what’s ours as a nation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Sweta for reading and sharing your views. Culture of any country is something a citizen must be proud of. You have very well explained how choice of dress is a very subjective one and it should not be veiled under the name of modernisation. Every nation big or small has something innate that people attach their pride with. Every nation is what its people make it.
      Thank you once again for sharing your views. I am glad this little work of mine could reason with you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I wrote a huge paragraph, and I clicked post comment and now it’s not here…I don’t know what happened…Anyway I will type again in short..
    So, great post.. One doesn’t always have to carry the ‘Tradition’ label,But it’s our culture that differentiates us form countries across the world..If wearing something traditional for few hours can please Mom or Dad, then what’s wrong in that..You are not asked to please some drunk people in a bar..(Now it applies to both, men and women)..Growing with modernization is really great, but there should be a balance between these two..(Now it’s a different topic that some cultures are not good, mostly for women)..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good morning. 🙂
      WordPress is acting cranky these days. I faced a similar issue many a times. Thank you so much. Indeed. One shouldn’t always carry the mark of culture. Balance is the right word that you have used. Balance has to be maintained or everything will be redundant. I thank you for taking the time to write your views again.
      Can I know your name, if only you are comfortable with it. I like to address people by their name. It’s my way of showing Respect. 🙂 only if you want to share.
      Have a wonderful day ahead.


  3. Each country has its own tradition, culture and ways of living… All these are to be respected by fellow countrymen and people from outside the country… Sun shines for every single human being, doesn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good morning. 🙂
      What a thought Louise. That is one thing that every individual needs to learn and imbibe in themselves. When nature doesn’t differentiate, we are just like a speck of dust in this whole universe.
      Thank you for sharing your views Louise.
      Have a wonderful day ahead. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Good one Harsh! A timely reminder.👏
    It is so sad to note that the present generation getting drifted apart from cultural traditions and customs. I feel it’s the same all over by the influence of the media rubbish, the so called drama. Exploiting all moral values and norms. Being a say no to drama person it’s so irritating to watch even the trailers on TV
    It’s very nice the way you’ve highlighted the facts. I loved reading your post till the end. It shows how well you’ve been brought up. Hats off to your parents after all. 😍😍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Shahz. I am so happy you liked reading this. 😬. I found it disturbing to see everyone just blatantly copying others without realising what is their identity.
      I am glad you liked it. Yayy.
      And I am will be doing the challenge soon. This thing had taken up my mind for long. I feel relieved now. Haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Very interesting perspective, sir. In the U.S., there is a tendency to vilify tradition in any form. I agree that culture is a very large (and fascinating) part of who a person is. God made people with such a variety of ways of thinking and being.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ma’am, I am sorry your comment went into the spam folder.
      Indeed ma’am, I completely agree with what you are saying. Vilifying, I think will be vulnerable to anything productive ma’am. Thank you so much for sharing your views. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I love this comment! I love it! And, unfortunately, this is true. The US is the land of strip malls, suburban cookie-cutter homes, sports games, and certain attire. I prefer diversity and embracing others!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I have always been fascinated with the traditional Indian clothing. I have always wanted, just for a day, to be draped in fabric, wear exotic jewelry, and have henna markings. I really feel the people of India are extremely beautiful people. Plus, Indian cuisine is one of my favorites. What I would do to do have some naan and a variety of chaat cooked up in my own kitchen. I tried to cook both once and I failed miserably!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, now! 😀 And, I did try a biryani that turned out halfway decent. I had to buy pre-made naan to put in the oven, though. I influenced my husband to fall in love with Indian cuisine, too. Maybe we need to try again and make it a fun night in the kitchen, cooking up some of that delicious food. Or, you could just send some over and make sure it is still hot!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Open the door I am standing outside. Haha. Biryani is so good when served with the right amount of spices. Don’t buy those pre made naans. Making a naan is very simple. You can watch a video on YouTube. It will help immensely. What would you like to have. Haha

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I am going to look up some YouTube tutorials for sure. Thank you for suggesting that. You would have thought I would already think to do a tutorial, but no. I am stubborn in my ways! I would seriously love to cook authentically. And, my spice cabinet is my favorite part of the kitchen!! But, I need to go to the ethnic market to get some real spices.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You definitely won’t regret going to the market ma’am. And when you are done cooking tell me, I’ll come over and join you and Sir for a dinner. Haha. I love the kitchen till I can make something in it there. I have to quickly come out because of the mess I leave it when I am done. I don’t want to be near my mother when she sees that. Haha

        Liked by 1 person

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