Hold on…..

As I lay down in my bed,
My head spinning faster than the clock,
The ceiling mocks me, Jibes at me,
Dust falling on my forehead,
The posters hung on my wall,
And pictures of places I’ve been to,
People that stayed,
And those moved on,
Sigh for they know what helplessness does to you,
How attachment breeds forests that catch fire,
On the slightest getaway,
It too flutters some words through cracks on itself,
Stories that remind me of earthquakes brutal,
When rain came inside my room,
And the bed turned to a trench,
Like a sinking pothole without a bottom,
Layers of humus covering my head,
Mushrooms on my skin,
The walls sometimes cave down on me,
As anxiety kicks in,
Or maybe something stranger to me,
The person in the mirror a stranger to me,
I detest this stranger,
Sometimes want to embrace him,
Let him cry on my shoulder,
As I listen, nod sometimes, maybe give a cup of tea,
For something to hold on to,
As night engulfs the room,
And dogs howl at night,
The mind numbs, wants to sleep,
I try to close my eyes,
The spinning stops somedays,
And the throat of the ceiling dries away,
My bed becomes hard like the forest floor,
The skin grows roots,
And I hold on,
For the Sun is few hours away…..

44 thoughts on “Hold on…..

  1. Oh Wow Kumar this is so gripping with such wonderful metaphors.
    Moving on is not always easy to do and leaves cracks in us that can be hard to heal. Life isn’t always easy and I so loved the comparisons in this poem. It’s hard to embrace our “ugly” parts and shadow but a cup of tea should do the trick. Was that a picture of your lovely face? Sleep well friend and I’ll be sending love. ❤️ 🙏 Cindy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Cindy. 😇 Indeed. Moving on from something that you never want to is the most difficult thing because you want it so bad. Maybe a lover or a dream job….
      We all have ugly parts Cindy and we know what they are and what they do to us. No one is perfect. But we do find the parts of us or any other worth living for. I am glad that you liked the comparisons here. I thought of them as most of the times our rooms or homes become our abode and our part so much so that they affect us in many ways. 😇
      You are too kind Cindy to say that and yes that is me. 😅☺️🤗❤️
      I’ll sleep as soon as sleep comes to me. 😇😇 Good day to you Cindy. Thank you for all the love. You are the best. ❤️😍😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so welcome Kumar. It truly is and sometimes harder to move on from a person if they are still alive rather than transitioned because they are somewhere out there in the ethers.
        We all have to good, bad and the ugly you’re right Kumar and it is embracing all of them that makes us human and allows us to love ourselves regardless. There is no perfect home either, each with flaws of imperfection as well. I loved the humas and mushrooms on the bed with the earthquake. Btw.. we did have an earthquake the day I wrote that poem.,.. only 2. something but it was in my prediction.. lol .
        I am honest Kumar and loved your picture growning out the beard and hair again. The parents will give you a bad time.
        Yes, catching sleep when it comes is the best way for a good sleep.
        You are most welcome dear Kumar.
        Awwww. thanks and you too. ❤️ Cindy

        Liked by 1 person

      2. OMG. 😳 how scary….I have witnessed earthquake properly once in my life while I was on the fourth floor of a building I used to live in. My bed started to shake and we all boys ran out. So scary. Hope you are alright.
        Hahaha. They know how stubborn I am. 😂 and they know I won’t listen to them for things like these. 😂
        Thank you so much Cindy. This was an old picture I took when my friend she told me about this filter. I really liked the purple color in this one. I am glad that you liked this one. 😇
        😇😇

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh it was small and barely felt it but I was in a big one but we were ok. I just want to prove a point to my kids that I said it was earthquake weather and they said there was no correlation between the weather and the earthquake and we had one… 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I WIN… lol. Oh that would be scary. That’s funny you are so stubborn. Love the purple light too!!! 🤗❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I know…. eyes closing, computer slipping off my lap, cat snuggled in my arm and the other one awaits with the 2 dogs. Not much sleep around here with all the animals! 😾😼🐕🐶 I used to have a pot belly pig that slept under the sheets at the bottling of the bed.😂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hahaha. So many animals. 😍😍😍😍😍. I can only imagine Cindy how it must feel. 😍😍😍. Milo is here in my room, he just got a new ball and he came running to me show it to me. 😇😍😍

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Please do. I would love to read about them. My parents they don’t allow for me to have a cat. They say that they are mean and aren’t as loyal as that a dog. But i absolutely adore them. I once met a cat on my way back to home from school some long time back. She or he was a small kitten and I remember as I was petting her, her nails came out from her paws and I was scared. 😅😅

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Fell asleep and now I’ve gotta ham… big client load today. Oh I will. That’s funny. They can be as sweet as you help them out to be. The book I started was Cats Don’t Give A Fuck … lol but I’ve trained mine like dogs and it so happens they aren’t as aloof as the get the rep for. The are often more entertaining than dogs actually. I have trained them to sit and come to the bell when I call them. Awww sorry you were scared!!’ 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The sun is exactly 3 hours away for me. I went to bed too early and I am up reading poetry and looking at “the man in the mirror”. And I don’t mean me, I’m talking about you. Hope you’re doing well. Lovely, dark poetry. A contrast to your positive spirit. 😇🍎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I can understand these nights. Your body is too tired that you wanna rest and then the mind starts playing games and you wake up. Happens with me quite lot. 😅
      If my guess is right, you must be around Australia. 😇
      Wow, thank you Lily. A glance by you definitely means a lot. 🥰
      I wasn’t feeling myself today and I thought what better way to use this feeling is to write it. I wasn’t sure if I would even write today. Stress does ugly things. Maybe a good sleep or some fast food will give me relief. 😇
      How about you? Are you feeling better? 😇

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks much for writing back. It’s good for you to purge those feelings. If you can’t get any sleep, I suggest some exercise. If you can’t go outside for a long walk, there are Strong by Zumba workouts on YouTube. Jump around and shake it off. 🇯🇵😇

        Liked by 1 person

  3. There’s a whirlwind of so many emotions in this one. The night can be scary and tricky and making it to light may seem tough, but is almost always possible.
    I love the line : “How attachment breeds forests that catch fire”
    Wow! Such strong and powerful words.

    Liked by 1 person

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