मदहोशी

कुछ तो होगा शायद,
की बिखर के भी मैं टूटता नहीं,
है कहीं तो ज़ोर बाक़ी,
कहीं कोई कतरा शायद हार मानने को त्यार नहीं,
तुम ज़ुल्म करते हो,
मैं साँस लेता हूँ,
कमबख़्त ये दिमाग़ ही है जिसने बचा रखा,
वरना मदहोशी में ए दिल तूने तो अब तक मेरा असमान ही जलाना था…..

Sleep

Sleep eludes me on days like these,
The winds when surf the lands slow,
Bereft of the cold, the sweet serenade it sings,
The nights that are laden with clouds,
Thunders that ruptures threads,
Inside and out, spiritual and material,
I close my eyes in silence sometimes,
Sometimes pervaded by the blaring sounds,
Of strangers and accomplices,
For sleep eludes me on days like these,
The earth below sinks,
And I smoke a cigarette…….

Consequences

I suffer from consequences of decisions,
Small or big,
Taken earlier or later or today,
For they bring a certain miscalculation,
In my course that I very comfortably set,
A dilemma I clearly face,
To easily let it pass,
Or let it ruin my day,
Months or years,
It’s funny how often I resort to a decision,
The later and usually the hardest,
Like weeping over set Sun,
And the rain that fell yesterday…..

Bleed

I bleed slowly on tattered bedsheets,
Of closely minced with dead meat,
Rotting, degenerating, infested with melamine ticks,
For my blood thickens and spreads unevenly over times before and after,
As I try finding myself,
Over the corpses of my dead dreams,
The desires gutted in slumber,
I cry for help,
For the end is not near…..

Way

If love comes and it comes close,
When you are tired and hopeless and numb,
The skies the shade of grey,
And winds that fumble of a sound low,
Hold it and hold it tight,
Like the will of a fighting gazelle,
What if it slips away,
Can love finds its way?

फिर कभी

मैं तक़दीरों से लड़ता हूँ,
बंद कमरों में उलझता हूँ,
की जनता नही सर्द हवाएँ लाती क्या खबर हैं,
जब साँसे झिझक के सीने में उठती हैं,
और उँगलियों की कपन से मैं उठ जाता हूँ,
वक़्त है शायद बीत जाएगा सोचता हूँ,
मैं ख़ामोश हूँ तो चुप नहीं,
लड़ तो रहा हूँ पर ना जाने दिखता नहीं,
है मालूम मुझे की सुबह होगी तो सही,
की जनता नहीं अभी या फिर कभी……

Silver lining

My voice echoes in darkness,
For the plethora of my nuisances play folly,
As my head and my mind stop being in sync,
To follow the unruly practice of harming itself,
I breathe and breathe through crevices made of burnt rubber,
And I indulge in sin of desires,
It’s reverberation of my methodic insignia,
The need of gasping for air,
That I see through tinted windows,
And make myself believe,
There’s a silver lining to every cloud……..

First time

I see dreams wrapped in layers chocolaty,
That ooze of desires sky high,
Slowly that drops over shades of ivory,
Turns them to gold,
And brings them sunshine,
For dreams I see with eyes both open and closed,
As they bring me warmth and a little glee,
That runs across my face,
Everytime I bring them back to life,
Just like the happiness of a boy,
Riding a cycle for the first time……

Sleep

Bereft from the identity accorded to myself,
I slowly dissolve in the middle of the night,
As waves of malign sincerity infest me,
I keep my eyes shut,
And clench my wrists over the sheets drenched with my sweat,
Rarely and remotely my body derives a mind of its own,
For it behaves in manners strange to me,
I see clouds in my room,
And valleys over my head,
I slowly dissolve into an oblivion,
As something vicious pulls me down,
That doesn’t come to me in the day,
But as the day sets and moon knocks on my door,
It becomes a part of me,
Something necessary, like the saint who needs his daily whiskey,
I close my eyes and shut them with my bare hands,
Maybe sleep will make it better…………….?

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Shayad…

मैं देखता हूँ कुछ उलझे से सपने,
हथेली मैं जो लेके चलते हैं,
वो कुछ खुरदुरे से टुकड़े गहरे,
जहां मैं हूँ , जहां तुम हो, जहां सब हैं,
शायद मंज़िल की तलाश है,
या ढूँढते है ज़रा साफ़ सा आसमान,
शायद कहीं जाना नहीं,
उड़ना ही है शायद……..

Carnations

A flower slowly that hugs the air,
Opening up its petal for the outside world,
A melody that catches ears adrift,
And makes them wonder the soil it stands in,
Clenching the little pebbles like the hands of a newborn,
Its almost miraculous that nothingness creates something spectacular,
Out of things extraordinary,
That mingle around the dust settled,
A similar kind of love,
A man brings for his woman,
Sweet, discrete, wrapped in layers of lavender,
That slowly unravel and fills the air with fragrances eternal,
He holds her hands with the utmost sincerity,
Gentle and firm like the tendrils of Fuchsia,
How hard a man can love,
They are quick to ask,
Just like the oysters buried in the sand,
They bear pearls spectacular,
It kills them to love her,
They rejoice as she comes out pristine,
For the world to see,
Admire and fall in love,
He lies on the ground motionless,
For his love is complete,
For the world to see,
A man loves discretely,
Just like the air that hugs a flower slowly,
Its fragrance that travels around the globe,
Like carnations in the sea……..

Coin

I sip slowly,
For my mind is a catharsis of the fast,
Purging with the intense music,
It sometimes hear,
Up in flames,
Or the mask of entitlement,
It bears fruits drugged with immaculate perfection,
That bereft my senses of their glory,
Same as the wind that sometimes settle,
After a storm,
Aren’t destruction and construction the same sides of a coin………..??

Warm night

It slowly creeps towards my head,
The thought of you eating away my pains,
While fighting the ones you deal with,
As the nights go and days knock my door,
I crave for your body,
The very skin I am comfortable with,
Not even my own,
And the soul that primes my senses,
For they indulge in ecstasies unknown,
Mystical, once in a century,
The touch of a similar kind,
Like the rain on a warm night…..