The dreams I see….

Dear Miss yet to come,

There this thing that is happening with me for some days. Everyday I sleep and in my dreams I see some many versions of you everyday. In those many versions of you,  sometimes I find out what you hide from the world. Something mystique, something magical that only makes my affection for you grow by infinities. Have you ever observed a rose. It is beautiful to the entire world, but when we open up its layers, it spreads a fragrance that can only be comprehended by the few who dare open it. Every layer is a revelation, a truth told, blissful, enchanting. Everyday we become partners in something very beautiful. We join hands and make something that usually makes us jump with joy. There are days when we rest. You lie down and I just look at you. The most perfect creation, with me. I feel happy, I am excited. Every breath that you take becomes a musical note for me and together they become a Symphony. Sometimes I let my hands be lost in your hair. I find them a little strange. They always know their way out, but all they want is to be there. Your hair seems as veins running through them, giving them a purpose to exist, a goal to achieve. Yesterday I saw you making breakfast for us. You were standing at the counter, arranging things and I was filling myself with that sight. The rays of the sun were running straight through your hair, they had turned golden. Even sunlight couldn’t surpass you. All it wanted was to stay. You make it beautiful. Just like the stones in a river that make a music so mesmerizing and soothing, one can never forget. 

My alarm clock is my new enemy these days because whenever I try to reach to you, that small little thing creates an explosion in my mind and I have to wake up. 

But you know the best thing about dreams. I can watch them with my eyes open.
Waiting for you,

With lots of love 

Kumar Harsh 

A letter to me…

Dear Harsh,
We live in a world that is heavily shaped by what others think of you. There are times when the thought of being you just skips your mind because what others may think of you becomes prominent- that is what we have been told for almost all our life. Climb down the bench, don’t talk too loud, behave, don’t run, don’t touch, don’t understand, just obey. We have been subject to conditions that could have brought the best in us but Alas, we were shaped by what society might would have thought about us. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. You have been a good son till now, followed everything which was laid upon you, never broke any rules, was always helpful and could never lie. Your heart always overpowered your mind where there were some major decisions to be taken. You never intended any wrong to befall on your loved ones because they were the ones that resided in your heart, they were the ones that helped mend it when it was broken, gave it shots of adrenaline when it was almost dead. You never ever thought what your present action will do because you never thought from your mind. This did not affect many as your major decisions until now included mostly that involved you the major part and somebody or a group of some bodies as a minor or even an insignificant part. But from what I have seen in the past few watches, your decisions have started to affect many and the most affected is you. I am observing you and I don’t find you in a very functional state just because of the one decision that has made some people erase you from their life. I know this is painful because these people were your closest accomplice in some very good times. Grieving for them has become an order of the day for you. Everyday you become older than what you probably are just because you keep on thinking about them. I am not saying that this should not be done. But look at yourself buddy. You have lost all your happiness and joy that once you spread across everyone you met. You are not even justifying your own name- Harsh that means happiness. I just have to say this to you- you are everything that the universe is made up of. You have a body, a soul, a purpose and most importantly an aim in life. You have tried your best to maintain the relations that you wanted to maintain. Buddy, you look tired to me. I request you to please stop. You are just letting yourself go in this process that has snatched you from all the happiness and has made you a walking corpse. I can very well understand how difficult it is for you to let go because you find happiness in smallest things. A bubble of water can excite you, a bird bathing in a pool of mud can entice you, a baby laughing can mesmerize you. I know you will never forget those people because they will always remain special to you. You have grown in their company. But buddy you will have to learn to let go or else you will lose yourself. 
I will always be here. I will always help you when you need me. Just listen to me because I am you.

Your best friend, 
Kumar Harsh

Is waiting worth it?

Dear Miss yet to come,
Lately I have been into a deep thought of you. Waiting for you has become so difficult these days when all I can think about is being with you. You know I have been patient enough for the days when I was enlightened about what a partner means in one’s life. I came across texts that told me that a partner in your life is the one with whom you can share your joy and Sufferings, your remorse and the things that you can boast of. But I think a partner cannot be just for sharing what you are going through. The very meaning of partner can be derived from the word partner itself. Part-Ner, a part of the puzzle, a part that completes anybody to make them somebody. Forever we have been through situations that warranted an action that was unique to give birth to a reaction that was strange. Something that shook our entire way of thinking, our perspective of looking at things, our reactions. Sometimes we were glad about something that had happened, sometimes we cried. But you know the best thing about experiences, is that everytime it happens  we learn a lesson. We haven’t yet met but there is a connection that i can feel through the eternal ties of something far beautiful than the racing rays of the sunlight, the pierced clouds that cover the sky, Than the bloated pastures of the golden seeds and this connection is the one that keeps on telling me that somewhere you are also going through that something that is strengthening this connection, bit by bit, every single day. You are also experiencing a reaction that is making you feel differently. I just want to tell you I am here experiencing things that you haven’t experienced yet, just waiting for the day when that connection of ours is fully established. There is something I want to tell you beforehand, I am a great listener but a terrible speaker. The will be times when you will have to comprehend my silence and react accordingly. And I am a boring person. The things I do best are to look and observe and think about them in ways anybody rarely thinks. Have you ever seen a falling feather. You are that feather for me. The one single feather that can make me fly, the one feather that tickles my bones only to make feel alive, soft, smooth, transcendent. You know I want to be the wind that carries it to carres it gently on the ground. I just want to be your part and I want you to be mine. I want to hold your hand in the falling rain, carry you in my arms when you get tired, hug you tight when things are not right, listen to your voice everyday, I want you to be the first person I see in the morning and last one when I close my eyes, I want to feel your soft hands over my chest, your breath in my ears, your heartbeat synced with mine. I want to see you sleep, drag you hair behind your ear, bite your lips over something. I want to be the reason you smile, the reason you rise, the reason you glow. There are many things I want to say to you dear Miss yet to come. But you know there are still many things left for you and me to experience and still many more that we have to experience together. 

Until then, I will wait for you. But please dear Miss yet to come don’t keep me waiting for long. I want to do so many things for you that this life feels so short and I don’t believe in reincarnations. But if it was possible to be reincarnated I want to be your partner in every life.
I’ll finish with this last quote.

“A course down the life track, there were people who met me back, who kept standing on the side track, they tried to bring me down, laughed whenever I had a fall, but then there was you standing there everytime, you held my hand, helped me stand, now when I am searching for you, where are you, lost in the Meadows, I need you.”

Waiting for you,
With lots of love,
Kumar Harsh