Growth

Dear Miss Yet To Come,


My apologies, if you would accept, for the delay in between my last letter and this letter that I am writing for you now. I have been really busy. But that cannot be an excuse for the delay in this letter. So, let me paint you a picture of what might be us whenever we meet.
I have been working really hard lately to make myself better, more mature for you, more than ever. Learning new things, new skills that might sway you off your feet. I don’t know if you have read my letters, but this one thing I am really proud of. I can make you see things that escape your eyes. The little tip of your nose that wiggles whenever you are too excited for a food that you really love, the sweet fragrance of your perfume that fills me with the feelings of summer, the silhouette you make on the bed everyday when you wake up. Moreover, I have been learning how to cook, so maybe we could share our time in the kitchen as well. Giggling and laughing just like teenagers. Age is just a number. We’ll make time for our little eccentricities everytime we think we are getting too real for the world. Sing aloud, dance un synchronously or even watch a romantic movie and cry endlessly. The bond between us would be real and that would be my foci, my epicentre, my constant, maybe yours too. The world changes by the second, but the real stays forever. I promise to hold you everytime you feel that love in the world is not enough for you, maybe you would do the same for me. I like to be pampered as well. I won’t ask from you. But then you know me. Or in time you will. I promise to love you when it’s the most difficult, when you think you are unlovable, put you in my arms and sing a song, just for you. I know you’ll do the same for me. You know how much i adore your voice. Its like a music box for me. The box opens and a symphony comes out of it. Every time. I know you laugh at my this analogy. But a feeling stays true even when the mind cannot comprehend it. Lately, it was really difficult to still define what love actually is. I took my time though, made myself involved in things that had made me believe in love in the first place. Trials and tribulations are a part of life. I told myself. So, I got back to my own little eccentricities. And just like that, everything seemed organic, easy. Because in life, sometimes we need a little break from things which drive us away from life. I have been trying to be in constant touch with my friends. They have been the strongest pillar of support along with my family, I am too excited you to meet. This letter was long overdue. The current situations demand we get back to our roots.

Everything is good here. I am good too. Better than before and still in the process of growing out of my cocoon. In a way we all do.

Hope you are doing excellent too. How’s everyone at home? Take care and try to stay indoors because we are fighting with an enemy which can disguise itself in any form.


Till then I’ll be waiting for you.

Don’t be late.

Hope to meet you soon.

With lots of love
Kumar Harsh

You to me…

Dear Miss yet to come,

How you have been? I was a little busy these days. Busy trying to figure where this life is taking me. 

Everyday is a new journey, a new hunt for something even we haven’t yet conceived. There are moments when nothing feels right. We take many bad decisions, many relationships that suck out the best from us, leaving nothing but scars for life. We want to apologize for things done intentionally or unintentionally.However, it may not be possible everytime. Whenever, it’s possible we do. Life never stops. It goes on. These things may although sound too rough for anyone who sees them from outside but inside these are life wrecking. Yet we sometimes stay like a pillar for everyone who needs us.

You know how difficult it is to be like this when a storm inside you is laying waste to many houses, many dreams ruthlessly. I tend to collapse when nobody is around because for many I am strong, I am a person who listens and sometimes recommend a course of further action. It is so difficult for me to say no to anyone that mostly I am mocked by other people. My decisions most of the times are governed by my heart rather than my mind which turn to be instantaneous. They say you are a fool. You don’t know how the world is. Grow up. Be mature. 
These times are heartbreaking Miss yet to come. I have no one to talk to. These are the times I want someone to listen to me. These are the times I want you to just ask me what’s wrong because I will never tell you what’s going inside me. Believe me when I say ask, you have to give your full effort. I am sorry if it’s too much. I may be angry, may barge the doors behind me. But I will tell you. 
Miss yet to come, you have to be very patient with me because even I haven’t yet completely unraveled myself. 
Dear Miss yet to come, you have to be the one who is mature when you will be with me, you have to be the smart one, the intelligent one. Everything that we decide will be a decision in the end of both of us and never ever think that I am ignoring everything around because there’s a storm brewing inside me everytime I say something loud or maybe sometimes nothing at all. 
I know this is too much to ask because we all expect our life partners to be mature enough to handle a situation if not well, then diligently. I assure you Dear Miss yet to come, I can be hard as a rock in times of heavy fire and can be as soft as a feather when I will be loving you. You will just have to bring out the best in me Dear Miss yet to come. That’s all I ask. 
Everything else, I will take care of.

Waiting for you.

With lots of love.

Kumar Harsh 

P.s – I learnt new songs on the guitar for you. 

A dream….

Dear Miss yet to come,

Life is a puzzle we all are trying to find a solution. Everyday we wake up to something that we try to forget or something that we want to cherish. 

I woke up today while dreaming of a place set in woods, surrounded by the smell of nature, undisturbed, undisclosed, a secret kept hidden from the eyes of malice. It was cold and I remember the fire that you had lighted in that little fireplace we made together. It had now changed places. The Sun shone bright, spreading its rays indefinitely over the blue canvas. You were still sleeping. 

I took a cup of coffee from that kettle that I gifted you when I broke the one you had bought.(Sorry for that!) I held the cup and went out to see the nature wake up to the day. The river flowing made music with the fishes in its sheen, waiting for someone to applaud, the trees rustled each other into a hug, the birds clicked their beaks, the day had started for them. I went inside our little blue house (although I had to fight a lot for the color ;-)) Climbing the steps we painted together, I now recall how difficult it was for us to bring this into reality. The dress you didn’t buy, the journey we couldn’t sail, the match we missed. Don’t you think it is all part of that solution? We sacrificing everything for something that only we can see. This puzzle, this journey, this birth, all have been a myth that has carried many generations for many centuries onto a simple fact that everything is mortal. Immortal are the memories, the moments that we build together, the smiles, the cries, the fights, the days we didn’t talk. All, every, each. 

As I Reach the bed where you still are dreaming of me ( just kidding ;-)), I couldn’t resist but notice that little smile on your face. The same face that makes my day, that makes my home. 

You are home dear miss yet to come. Yes, you are. And if you are besides me, I am sure something beautiful will come out from this life, this puzzle….

Take your time Dear Miss yet to come. I am a true gamer and a true gamer never gives up. 😉 it will be fun looking for you. 🙂 

Waiting for you.

With lots of love,

Kumar Harsh 

Winter..

Dear Miss yet to come,
How are you Miss yet to come? I have been looking for you for sometime now. Yesterday I was walking through the park where sometimes I find really strange but yet too jovial things happening. A kid was learning to ride his bicycle there. I sat down on the same bench where sometimes the little squirrel that lives on the red tree comes down to chew on some munchies. I saw how carefully the father put down his son’s new bicycle. It was a red shining hotride customised only for him, that’s what the kid thought. I could see his face, filled with the emotion of happiness combined with the inhibition of trying the new adventure. He was all ready to ride it. But his father, a little too careful wanted him to wait. “See son you can ride it once I check it.” He said and got busy tweaking the bicycle. The boy noticed every gesture his father made. The movement of the screwdriver, the little red can of oil, the way his father looked at his bicycle. ” When can I ride it?” Curiously he would ask and everytime his father would say just a minute. It was just like preparing for war. Fathers never let their kids enter a war unprepared. I told myself. He checked the protection gear on his son. “Ride my boy.” He exclaimed with joy and a tinge of scepticism. The boy got on the bicycle, ready to ride he asked his father,” what should I do?”. ” Put your legs on the pedal and there you go my lad” he smiled. The kid injected with a desire to ride and a hope to fly, Pushed the pedal. “I am with you son” said the father as he carefully pushed his son into a new Kingdom. It happens frequently. Don’t you think Miss? We are seldom pushed into something we don’t want to venture into and then something magical happens. The earlier feared arena becomes a piece of cake, a walk of lifetime and then we realise it was nothing but our mind that stopped the heart from beating emotionally, not just functionally. The father let go off the bicycle and the kid was now a master of his beast! “Dad, I can ride a bicycle”. His face had grown like the sun which had nothing to fear for, no one to beat, nothing to hide. The kid fell on the next turn. His father came running to him. “See, now you know what it feels like to ride in the wind. You have to keep your feet down my Son.” 

The winds were becoming colder as the day had started to sink into the sheets of the calm. The two took off for their home. “We will try harder tomorrow” the father had said. 

I sat down there for some more time after they left. A strange fragrance had captured my attention. The same fragrance that poets reverb about, the fragrance we all seek in times of apocalypse. I let myself absorb that fragrance. Intricate cannot be seen, delicate can’t be heard. I had started to feel the cold, my body had started to accept the stillness, it was ready to disintegrate. The best thing about experiences like these is that they are new. One cannot just make them happen. They just flow. I left myself in that state, hoping to a achieve something. 

I opened my eyes when a stroke of wind had carefully feathered my forehead. I was now someone I didn’t knew. 

I found the kid who was lost in the mundane routine, the father who was crushed by the gigantic boulders of work and most importantly the wind who had lost its ability to fly, to change, to breathe, to listen, to smell and to see. 

This park made  a way for me  Miss. I am glad I stayed. 

This winter I hope that winds gets a little colder, the sun a little warmer, the flowers a little merrier and the us a little more closer.

Hoping that you experience something magical like this.
Waiting for you,
With lots of love,

Kumar Harsh