Dear miss yet to come, 

It’s been ages since you and I had a talk. Remember those nights when you would lay in your bed and I in mine and imagine us, walking together on that beach that you one day had made a little sandcastle with nothing but hands, yours and mine. That little roof which fell most of the times but in the end was strong enough to stay. Remember those steps, the initial ones easy to build, but as the height increased it became difficult. We stayed there together until it was complete. The right kind of perfect we wanted, With the right amount of imperfections. It was our little heaven, our escape from the world. A world where we both were failures, where our identities were lost in the crowd, minds churned in the way of the mob, we were nothing. But this place, this little paradise was our relief. Remember how we would run the length of the beach to catch each other and then when we would be tired we would sit and watch the sun go down, the crimson sky, adorned with little stars, a moon trying to wake up from its deep slumber, sometimes a comet rushing away from its tail or maybe sometimes a unicorn in the clouds. It was magical, a dream turned reality. You sitting by my side, holding my hand. Truly. And while I try to hold control over myself, not let my senses go loose, go haywire, turn into a storm, all I can do is look at you. The way a sunflower looks at its sun, the climber at the peak, the eyes look to the infinity. Sometimes you say I make you uncomfortable by the way I look at you. But Dear, it’s one of the least I can do and the its one of the most you can do. Be uncomfortable, turn your head away from me in that way which can kill because I won’t turn away. Many say, one look of the heaven and you won’t need your eyes. I say give me more eyes so that I can capture my heaven in every way possible, infinite, uncountable, multidimensional. 

Now as we go back to our homes, the real ones, I want to remind you how I will wait for you. But Dear Miss yet to come, don’t make me wait too long. There are things we need to do. 

That sandcastle needs a new roof. 

Yours lovingly 

Kumar Harsh 



कुछ बात है बेघर किसी पंछी की,
यूँही नहीं कोई इतना दिलदार होता, 
रस्ते मैं चलते हुए आज जब पुकारा था उस ठुकराए कुत्ते को मैंने, 
घर तक छोड़ कर गया था वो मुझे, 
याद करना कभी, 
कभी मिल भी लेना, 
फिर कभी रस्ते से गुजरते हुए आवाज़ भी देते जाना तुम, 
यूँही नहीं मैं हूँ आवारा, 
मजबूरी है, जा रहा हूँ मैं, 
कहा था किसी रोज़ उसने मुझसे, 
हस के अलविदा करा था मैंने, 
और कहा था जाते हुए, 
आज़ाद हो तुम मुझसे, 
और मैं तुमसे शायद, 
कभी मिल जाना, 
कभी नाम पुकार लेना मेरा, 
आसमान है मेरी छत, 
यह धरती मेरा आशियाना…. 

Who is your God? 

God, the mighty creator of the world. The one force we all look upon to guide the drowning ship of our lives to paradise,  The one we wish things to become reality, the one we adore, the one we respect, the one we fear. Is God a being, a force or something else? 

Some days ago in the night around 11 my father’s phone rang. A patient he had operated in the day had gone serious. My father told us this and said that he had to go see the patient. He was too tired so I went along with him and took the steering wheel. Our house is about 15 kms from the hospital so it took us sometime to reach. It was cold so my father ordered me to come along with him. We parked the car and went inside. The family of the patient was already too stressed as I could see. My father was calm and asked them not to worry. His junior came upto him running and they started talking something I had no idea about. I took a seat in the hallway. There was silence there except the occasional phone call that the family was receiving. People were sleeping on the floor, some were sitting on the chairs talking maybe about themselves or maybe the people that they had in mind. There were people who brought cups of tea for the family that was present there, some even shared a laughter on a newspaper clipping, while some indulged themselves in heavy doses of self proclaimed nationalism. I was fast falling asleep as I had a sumptuous dinner and the tiredness of the day was getting to me. I closed my eyes and slept only to be woken up by my phone. My mother had called me to inquire what had happened. I slept for two straight hours! I told her that my father was still in the operation theatre. Time passed, slowly for the family of the patient. After six hours he came out. The family was curious about the condition of their beloved. They encircled him and were curiously listening to him. 

He will be okay.” he said and all of them had a smile on their faces. One very young man almost the same age as me came upto him and said, “Sir, if you were not here, I would have lost my father. You are our God.” he came and touched my father’s feet. The whole family followed suit. He didn’t like and tried to resist but he was overshadowed by their love. 

He will wake up in the noon. Take care of him. And I am just a normal being. I just did my job. ” he said and asked for permission to leave. He came upto me and said,”  Sorry Son you had to wait because of me.” “No problem Papa. I had my sleep.” I said. 

We went to the car while he talked to his juniors and briefed them about what had to be done. I started driving and he slept on the seat next to me. We reached home, it was the crack of dawn. He went in his room and slept. I went to my room and immediately dozed off. I woke up after sometime to check on him. He was already at his work back at the hospital. 

This whole incident did something to me. 

God, the mighty creator of the world. The one force we all look upon to guide the drowning ship of our lives to paradise,  The one we wish things to become reality, the one we adore, the one we respect, the one we fear. Is God a being, a force or something else? 

Life began on earth some 3.8 billion years ago. It was rather simple, single celled organisms that had first made earth their habitat. More complex forms of life followed to the present, now forms of life we see all around. At the start of human life, it was mainly dedicated to gathering and hunting for food. Their day would start with the Sun and would end with the Sun. Survival was the sole purpose of their lives. The invention of fire brought a new horizon to the then humans, who before fire were living just like their other animals counterparts. Eating raw. Fire allowed them to cook and their play with food began. Fire also allowed them to be awake in the night as now they had their own Portable Sun. Done with the daily agenda of the day(in this case hunting, gathering, eating) they would have sat and tried to have a conversation (although understanding their language would be very difficult, I shall try to, with improvisations on their language. 😉 ). 

Man 1– hoo hahaa jrr hohoho heee ha. 
(bro, I think we need to clear the cave of the  big rocks) 
Man 2– okokok wiii ka napa  kaaaa hoo.
(It takes a lot of time. And my wife wanted me to get her a new leopard  hide. It’s new fashion.) 
Man 1– eeeee vaaa nnaa. 
(oh bro I understand. I’ll think of something. Don’t get eaten up bro.) 

Those big blocks of stones couldn’t have been moved if not for the invention of wheel. With wheel, men, material, ideas and ideologies traveled to far off places and humans would have felt that they want to do something other than just gathering, hunting and eating. There would have been times when they would fear something. The roary weather, lighting or days when they couldn’t find food, faced an issue with health or lost someone they adored. That’s when they would have started to believe in something that existed not among them -a power that would help them when they sought out to it. Something undefined, supernatural. They would have prayed to it and the weather would have cleared, naturally or they might have found a dead animal to eat or a simple vomit would have cured them. They would have attributed this to some extraordinary power as they would have thought it responded to their grievances. 

A saying from a mouth reaches the other ear with the many additions from every ear it enters. Just the way the concept of God would have come into existence. God is the Creator, Destroyer of the world. He is omniscient, omnipotent, eternal, universal and absolute. He created man in his image. God is this universe. He has created this world. Everyone ends up in God. He punishes you for your sins. He will cast you to Hell if you don’t respect his disciples. He  watches over you. God is ultimate. God is true.

Where is God? More importantly what is God? 

Experiments of man with the God brought up the many traditions we see around. The growth of all ideas, the spectacular structures we see around, the rich heritage, the scrolls, the books, art and what not. Even birth of  Science can be attributed to the concept of God. God is the universe. The process of Thesis and Antithesis brought many changes and many developments to the now grown tree of knowledge which once was an unplanted seed. 

Philosophers of all times and ages have tried defining God. But what I think, God is subjective. He or she or maybe it,  varies from person to person, place to place, time to time. 

Human tendency is such that we tend to put the blame of our problems or sticky situations to sometimes destiny or maybe sometimes the God. We try finding a source of happiness, an approval to our actions by attributing those actions as the will of someone supreme, God. Think this. How many times have you thanked the God for a wonderful day or a wonderful meal that’s on your plate. How many times have you asked him to absolve you from your sins, your sickness. 

For the people who don’t believe in God, this concept is really termed as amusing. As how can people trust someone or something they can’t even see or perceive. They believe in the moment, pleasure although not only physical pleasure but a more happiness causing one,  being their only motive. People like Carvaka who dared to think this in the 6th century were looked down upon and were mocked, even prosecuted by the self proclaimed disciples of God. 

If God had existed and if he was the one just and loving, why would he want something he had created to perish. If he wanted them to let them live on his conditions, why would he had given each of us an independent mind, different body structures, capabilites and talents. Don’t you think world would be mundane place with all the similarities? 

Sometimes in my home, when my mother recites a hymn or reads to me a scripture considered auspicious, I just listen, to admire the  amount of work the writer had put in. My parents know that when they would ask me to bow down in front of the statues in temples, I may refuse because they know I am little too logical. But I don’t revolt because as I did say already. Concept of God is purely subjective. I do that just to please them. I would be highly dishonest if I say that I am not frightened or sometimes I am not down, needing a ray of hope. Those are the times I seek some force to calm my inner self. Music, writing, my pen is a big relief in times such as these. But the best medicine is the image of my parents and my brother that just creates an explosion in my mind. A very happy explosion that just casts away all the darkness.

My conversations with God are an extended version of my conversations with myself for I believe if God was to exist, he would have existed in every atom of the universe. When I am down, I curse myself to be in that situation for that much time. I believe in the present. Past as an instrument to mock someone would be wasting the precious moment. Nobody knows what conditions lead to something or the other and above all who are we to judge a person by their past. If past had to be used as an argument, Ravan, the highly intelligent, the wise and the mighty wouldn’t have gathered a more maligned image than the one he has in Ramayan. 

Whenever joy, my still to grow Labrador sleeps, I see his legs moving, sometimes he barks at objects in his sleep. What would he dream of? Who would his God be? The answer would become very clear the next day when he in the morning seeing my mother move, he jumps on her and wakes her up. His universe is our home. His God is mortal. 

My faith in God dwindled when I saw my grandmother dying infront of me. She was the strongest woman I had seen. Medical science had lost hope. To God I turned. And then she went away from me. 

We all are mortals. We will turn to soil someday. Why waste time in believing in something that doesn’t exist? That’s what I thought. 

But then God is purely subjective. I may sound as an atheist. Not believing in the will of God and the theory of karma or anything else. But I seek positive vibes which everything or anything or any person gives out. I find solace in the peaceful surroundings of a temple that is perfect for meditation, to have a conversation with yourself, to listen to yourself. I am fond of these places because of the energy they give out. People say that karma exists and that you will reap what you sow. But I believe why should one think of things that they have already done. Nothing can be done about it. The only thing that matters is how you act in the present which definitely should be done to avoid the mistakes done earlier.  Do good not to please anyone but to come home after a long day of work and be able to look in the mirror. The world doesn’t care what have you done or what will you do. They all have problems of their own. But the only person that matters the most is the one person in the mirror. Do good things so that you don’t get to say, I could have done that thing or I could have been an agent of change.

Be the change you want to see in the world. 

Now the question this article asks. Who is your God?

My answer is quite simple. I don’t think except my parents and my brother anyone or any God  can give anything more. So for me, every day to whom I come back home to, they are my God. And that’s the religion I will always follow. 

If you are ready to answer, go ahead. Ask yourself. 

Who is your God? 

For you!

Is this the end? 

The following poem are my personal views. I don’t follow any particular school of thought. I apologise in advance if hurt anyone’s sentiment in these words. 
I am sorry. 

खाता है वो साग, वही खाता है मास,
पहनके के वही कुर्ता, जाता है मस्जिद या कृष्ण दरबार,
वो पूजता है एशु को, कभी कोरान को,
बच्चे, बूढ़े, औरत या हो कोई जवान,
चेहरा नहीं होता है उसका,
मज़हब क्या है उसका,
क्या है वो इंसान,
तबाही का सामान लेके, जो निकलते हैं बेख़ोफ,
क्या है वो इंसान,
रखवाले क्या बनते हो ईश्वर के,
क्या बच्चें करते है उसका जीना बेहाल,
फिर भी गिराते हो मस्जिद, मंदिर या कोई गिरजाघर,
क्या थी यही रखवाली, क्या था यही जिहाद,
अल्लाह भी है ख़ौफ़ मैं तेरे,
ज़लज़ले की हो चुकी शुरुआत,
भूख, भरष्टाचारी, ग़रीबी, अराजकता का है कैसा मायाजाल,
लोभियों के कंधों पे सवार होके आएगा एक दिन कोहराम,
आस टूटेगी, होगी ज़िन्दगी नीलाम,
तब शायद समझेगा इंसान,
उस मज़हब का क्या कीज़िएगा,
जब ख़त्म हो जाएगा इंसान।

Once again an English translation for the English readers. I wish you could read this one in Hindi. 

He eats spinach, he eats meat,
Wearing the same cloth, he visits a mosque or a temple,
Worships the the Christ, and sometimes the Quran,
Kids, elderly, women or the youth,
He has no face,
What is his religion.
Is he a man,
With instruments of destruction, he runs amok,
Is he a man,
He protects God,
Do kids ever cause god any harm,
Still he demolishes mosques or churches,
Is this the protection, is this jihad,
Allah fears at his creation,
Apocalypse has just begun,
Hunger, corruption, poverty, anarchy are a great web,
Riding the shoulder of the greedy will come the doom,
Hope will be lost, life will be sold,
Then maybe the man may understand,
What will the religion serve,
When there would be no man…

Lord O Lord… 

O Lord O Lord, 
Give me the strength to stand, 
When I fall, 
Bruised with wounds of my deeds, 
I lose faith, 

Want to close my eyes, 
The injustice in front of me, 
Dumb I become, 
Blinded by my ego, 
I see no one, 
Make me fall, 
So I see I am a speck, 
No identity, 
Nothing special, 

Give me pain, 
So I feel, 
This body is temporary, 

Don’t be a support to me, 
Let me make my own stand, 
Let me improvise, 
A boil there, 
A spoil there, 
A tattered shirt, 
A worn out shoe, 
The scent of blood and sweat, 
The nectar of success,
When I win, 
Don’t let it stay for long, 
Bring a new challenge, 
Something to learn again from, 
Change the rules of the game, 
Maybe fair, may sometimes be unfair, 
But let the Sun shine, 
Let the darkness stay not for long, 

Send me hope, 
Maybe family, maybe friends, 
Or maybe someone not known, 
I am a vessel of hopes and despair, 
Prick me with holes, 
Of sizes unknown, 
Let me leak, 
Let me bleach, 
Till the colors become my own, 

The winds by my side, 
Days when the winds may take a rest, 
Send me a letter, 
Sincerely yours, 

The dreams I see, 
The goals I set, 
Give me the courage, 
So they can live, 

Lord O Lord, 
Be with me, 
But stay away, 
Let me see, 
The God in me….. 

Shahz had asked me to do a quote challenge, I couldn’t write a quote but this is a poem I had an idea about for sometime now. Please do check her. She is amazing with words… 

I don’t respect you. 

I have been watching the television a lot lately, mainly because anything productive was not coming out of me. As I was surfing through the channels I came across a reality show in which couples had to live with their in-laws before marriage, get to know them, learn about their culture and everything that would make them better Son-in-law or Daughter-in-law. In the episode, a man who wanted his fiancé to meet his parents asked her to dress up. He came to pick her up from her parent’s house and when he saw her he was bit taken aback. He had asked her to wear the traditional Indian wear and she was in the most casual dress one could ever wear. As he requested her to wear what he wanted, she threw up a fight. It might look completely normal when we see from a perspective of the girl but brings an all together different light when the thought process of a boy is taken in to consideration. 

Parents of nobody ever think ill of their children. No matter how much they grow up but for a parent they will always be their little child, the one they have spent their time and energy to make them someone they want them to be. No parent will ever want any harm to befall on their children and would never want them to make an outcaste, someone who is not a part of the society. So they feed their kids with values, with basic necessities of dealing with people so that they don’t lack at any place. These values form the basis of everything the child perceives. Sometimes the things he/she learns by themself,  helps him overcome something troubling him/her and sometimes he may remember how his parents dealt with a similar situation. The importance of what a parent teaches is not measurable. It stays with us at every part of life.

I, being born in an Indian family have always observed how my parents dealt with situations and people. The first thing they always did was to be polite because they always believe in seeing the reason behind something rather than raising their voice. But sometimes some don’t hear the polite, so they become the rudest person I have ever known. This is very fabric of adaptation that we as living beings have always taken very keen interest in. Studies conducted have shown life to evolve from Amoeba and as a single celled organism Amoeba needed to reproduce so that it may survive. It did and it did very simple and beautiful. It created parts of itself and created another being. Similar were the other levels of evolution. Fish came out of water to inhabit the land, so came the land animals. Then the sky had to be conquered, so came the birds. But then, someone had to maintain harmony among others, so more intelligent forms of life evolved. Home Sapiens came into existence or the more popular Humans as we all know. Adaptation was always the very essence of evolution. But evolution never meant starting from something new, it was creating something better of the already available. Do you see –  the already available. Yes, that’s the thing that helps evolution function. 

The programme I was watching had a twist of turn and the girl revolted against the decision his to – be husband had made for her. She cited the many modern laws in practice and told that this kind of thing is a thing of past. I was taken aback. Why would someone discard something that has been existing far longer than the lifetime of a single person, something that took a long time to come into shape, something that was infused with lives of the many who sacrificed themselves for the larger good they saw. 

Culture is the basic identity of a human being, more than any other living being.

Humans during the evolutionary process have realised that living  together is much safer and better than living alone and when we live together, we live as a single unit. Much like the cells of Amoeba, who when divided creates different but same organism. As humans came together and spread, they imbibed many things owing to the very ability to adapt. Some grew very tall, some grew very short, some developed a different skin tone, some were fast runners, some were heavy lifters. 

But all of them were the same. 

The circumstances, the environment, the situations made them what they became. But a man is nothing if he forgets his roots. If one day we decide, the only living thing that can live on this planet will be us, then apocalypse will come, nothing will remain. Similar is the case with culture. Kingdoms, many great Nations have fallen just because they thought of themselves more suitable than any other. But no civilisation ever flourished if they couldn’t adapt or in some form or other forgot their roots or started identifying themselves as other civilisations. Think this of if one day an elephant starts thinking itself of a dog, how will you take it out for a walk and the amount of you know what it would produce. You’ll be soaked in it. Or if someday you decide you want to be a bird or a Pizza(those things are addictive), God knows what may become. Possibilities here are unlimited. 

Modernity in the name of imitation is a preposterous concoction because then you won’t remain original.

 We live in a world of globalization, everything and anything is accessible to anyone who has the resources to get it. Ideas, things, people, money and cultures travel. Maybe not faster than light(because then how else will you be reading this) but it does travel at a pace which some may confuse as something better or something more likely to be ‘in fashion’. One must take pride in what they are because they have travelled a road to come where they are. It may not be a long distance but the fact that they kept moving is much greater than not moving at all or moving backwards. We can only appreciate the greatness of where we are only if we keep our roots in mind because no matter how humble roots were, they still are the strongest. But one should never let one’s pride blind him because once a great tree was a seed and once a now CEO of an organization started from the bottom. The example of Raavan is best suited here. Raavan was a pure genius. He was a scholar, an astronomer, a mathematician, an administrator, a warrior, a scientist, he had mastered the highest levels of meditation. But the only thing that killed him was his ego.

Pride can very easily turn into ego. The difference is hairline. 

I take pride(notice pride)  in wearing the traditional attire which has been laid down by my culture because that’s my very identity. I do sometimes wear what the dress code for a certain place demands but that doesn’t mean I would any day want to give away my identity for a new one. And why should I. There must be reason why we or for that matter any of us are the way we are. And it is perfectly fine if we don’t understand it right now but it will reveal itself to us one day. If some kind of attire brings happiness to the faces that mean a lot to us then the purpose is fulfilled. 

Respect is subjective. 

Respect for someone maybe touching feet of his elders or not honking unnecessarily when a person infront of you is as helpless as you are or maybe letting someone enter before you or maybe standing up when you speak to someone standing while you are sitting or listening to someone before you speak. Possibilities here as well are unlimited. But respecting the one’s and other’s culture is the most important of all because if it was not for respect, mutual coexistence would have never been possible. 

Later in the episode, the girl decided to wear Sari and she looked beautiful more than ever. 

The question I want to put up here is, what is your notion for respect. Mine is realising the presence of a living being in a surrounding around me. I may interact with you or maybe not but I still respect you until you do respect me and my presence and if you don’t, Then I have learnt a thing or two from my parents as well with a tinge of the globalized culture. 

I know five languages. 

An Empire in the making…..

He lacked the cement,
She lacked the supports,
Together they built the biggest empire,
For the world to see,
It didn’t start well,
Many a times it fell,
Sometimes the cement, 
Sometimes the supports,
But they kept going,
Every night, 
Every day,
They woke up, 
Buried the day before,
Sometimes they broke,
Wanted to separate,
Sometimes the cement,
Sometimes the supports,
Kept them together,
Kept them moving,
The plan didn’t work out well,
The ground shook,
The Empire fell down,
Salvaged their pieces.
Started again,
The world would laugh,
See the crazy peeps,
They would say,
He was hurt,
She was hurt,
They both were hurt,
But the cement was strong,
The supports rigid,
They worked day,
They worked the night,
Sometimes when it rained,
Or the snow would fall,
Festivals were a distraction,
Lights were too expensive,
An Empire was in the making,
One day they made something beautiful,
A life, moving hands and those cute eyes,
Oh, I am not hungry,
One would say to other,
One day or the other,
The life grew like a plant,
The cement was strong,
The supports rigid,
One day it became a tree,
With roots strong, 
With branches that could support,
They both sat together,
On a Sunday morning,
A cup of tea, some cookies too,
Looked at each other,
Bodies not too strong,
Eyes that needed glasses,
Looked upto the tree,
Congratulations! The Empire is complete….

It’s hard for me and many people like me to say things out loud. This blog gives me something which is definitely difficult to explain in words. 

For a long time I wanted to say these lines for my parents. The way they toiled so that their sons could shine. 

This little piece cannot ever compare to what they did for us children. But then we mustn’t let our feelings go down the drain, something I was taught everytime. 

This little piece is for all the parents out there, who struggle everyday with their lives and yet come home to a smiling face, just to see their kids. 

And as they say to us brothers everyday, We are the Empire they have built over the years,

This is for my, Yours and everyone’s Amma and Papa….