Where are you?

Dear Miss yet to come,

How are you? It’s been a long time since I wrote to you. Seasons have changed, the birds have flown from their nests, the old dilapidated house at the corner, remember? That couldn’t stand longer. It fell down. Everything’s been fine with me lately and I hope with you too. But we are too humans and as humans and the perfect law of nature, we change.

I don’t know why there is this feeling inside me that’s not letting me do anything. Usually it doesn’t make its presence felt. But when it does, I find sadness in almost anything. And you know how I rarely get sad, a little too emotional yes but rarely sad. Even the guitar lying next to me doesn’t inspire me to play it and get over it, the writing pad too, just growls at me with this I don’t know, a face that just doesn’t seem friendly. I sometimes wonder what it would feel like to share with you all this in person when you are lying along me in the open sky and wondering why the stars fall, who holds the moon up in the sky, why does a doughnut have a hole, or maybe why our hearts beat so slow when we are together. Remember the day, when you were sad about something that you didn’t remember. It’s something like that. The funny thing about it is that, how much I try to avoid it, it just comes bouncing back. The only thing sometimes I need is a your touch and not just physical, the intimacy we shared, mind, space and later the body that really was just another tune that we together create. I don’t know what’s difficult. Waiting for you or this thought that there is somewhere you as well, maybe waiting for me. Or have you found someone too good……

I wish you have that palm for me so that I may fill it with sometimes my hand, the flowers that your body absorbs so spectacularly or maybe sometimes this universe, our universe, our little world….

Waiting for you….

With lots of love.

Kumar Harsh

The dreams I see….

Dear Miss yet to come,

There this thing that is happening with me for some days. Everyday I sleep and in my dreams I see some many versions of you everyday. In those many versions of you,  sometimes I find out what you hide from the world. Something mystique, something magical that only makes my affection for you grow by infinities. Have you ever observed a rose. It is beautiful to the entire world, but when we open up its layers, it spreads a fragrance that can only be comprehended by the few who dare open it. Every layer is a revelation, a truth told, blissful, enchanting. Everyday we become partners in something very beautiful. We join hands and make something that usually makes us jump with joy. There are days when we rest. You lie down and I just look at you. The most perfect creation, with me. I feel happy, I am excited. Every breath that you take becomes a musical note for me and together they become a Symphony. Sometimes I let my hands be lost in your hair. I find them a little strange. They always know their way out, but all they want is to be there. Your hair seems as veins running through them, giving them a purpose to exist, a goal to achieve. Yesterday I saw you making breakfast for us. You were standing at the counter, arranging things and I was filling myself with that sight. The rays of the sun were running straight through your hair, they had turned golden. Even sunlight couldn’t surpass you. All it wanted was to stay. You make it beautiful. Just like the stones in a river that make a music so mesmerizing and soothing, one can never forget. 

My alarm clock is my new enemy these days because whenever I try to reach to you, that small little thing creates an explosion in my mind and I have to wake up. 

But you know the best thing about dreams. I can watch them with my eyes open.
Waiting for you,

With lots of love 

Kumar Harsh 

A letter to me…

Dear Harsh,
We live in a world that is heavily shaped by what others think of you. There are times when the thought of being you just skips your mind because what others may think of you becomes prominent- that is what we have been told for almost all our life. Climb down the bench, don’t talk too loud, behave, don’t run, don’t touch, don’t understand, just obey. We have been subject to conditions that could have brought the best in us but Alas, we were shaped by what society might would have thought about us. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. You have been a good son till now, followed everything which was laid upon you, never broke any rules, was always helpful and could never lie. Your heart always overpowered your mind where there were some major decisions to be taken. You never intended any wrong to befall on your loved ones because they were the ones that resided in your heart, they were the ones that helped mend it when it was broken, gave it shots of adrenaline when it was almost dead. You never ever thought what your present action will do because you never thought from your mind. This did not affect many as your major decisions until now included mostly that involved you the major part and somebody or a group of some bodies as a minor or even an insignificant part. But from what I have seen in the past few watches, your decisions have started to affect many and the most affected is you. I am observing you and I don’t find you in a very functional state just because of the one decision that has made some people erase you from their life. I know this is painful because these people were your closest accomplice in some very good times. Grieving for them has become an order of the day for you. Everyday you become older than what you probably are just because you keep on thinking about them. I am not saying that this should not be done. But look at yourself buddy. You have lost all your happiness and joy that once you spread across everyone you met. You are not even justifying your own name- Harsh that means happiness. I just have to say this to you- you are everything that the universe is made up of. You have a body, a soul, a purpose and most importantly an aim in life. You have tried your best to maintain the relations that you wanted to maintain. Buddy, you look tired to me. I request you to please stop. You are just letting yourself go in this process that has snatched you from all the happiness and has made you a walking corpse. I can very well understand how difficult it is for you to let go because you find happiness in smallest things. A bubble of water can excite you, a bird bathing in a pool of mud can entice you, a baby laughing can mesmerize you. I know you will never forget those people because they will always remain special to you. You have grown in their company. But buddy you will have to learn to let go or else you will lose yourself. 
I will always be here. I will always help you when you need me. Just listen to me because I am you.

Your best friend, 
Kumar Harsh

Is waiting worth it?

Dear Miss yet to come,
Lately I have been into a deep thought of you. Waiting for you has become so difficult these days when all I can think about is being with you. You know I have been patient enough for the days when I was enlightened about what a partner means in one’s life. I came across texts that told me that a partner in your life is the one with whom you can share your joy and Sufferings, your remorse and the things that you can boast of. But I think a partner cannot be just for sharing what you are going through. The very meaning of partner can be derived from the word partner itself. Part-Ner, a part of the puzzle, a part that completes anybody to make them somebody. Forever we have been through situations that warranted an action that was unique to give birth to a reaction that was strange. Something that shook our entire way of thinking, our perspective of looking at things, our reactions. Sometimes we were glad about something that had happened, sometimes we cried. But you know the best thing about experiences, is that everytime it happens  we learn a lesson. We haven’t yet met but there is a connection that i can feel through the eternal ties of something far beautiful than the racing rays of the sunlight, the pierced clouds that cover the sky, Than the bloated pastures of the golden seeds and this connection is the one that keeps on telling me that somewhere you are also going through that something that is strengthening this connection, bit by bit, every single day. You are also experiencing a reaction that is making you feel differently. I just want to tell you I am here experiencing things that you haven’t experienced yet, just waiting for the day when that connection of ours is fully established. There is something I want to tell you beforehand, I am a great listener but a terrible speaker. The will be times when you will have to comprehend my silence and react accordingly. And I am a boring person. The things I do best are to look and observe and think about them in ways anybody rarely thinks. Have you ever seen a falling feather. You are that feather for me. The one single feather that can make me fly, the one feather that tickles my bones only to make feel alive, soft, smooth, transcendent. You know I want to be the wind that carries it to carres it gently on the ground. I just want to be your part and I want you to be mine. I want to hold your hand in the falling rain, carry you in my arms when you get tired, hug you tight when things are not right, listen to your voice everyday, I want you to be the first person I see in the morning and last one when I close my eyes, I want to feel your soft hands over my chest, your breath in my ears, your heartbeat synced with mine. I want to see you sleep, drag you hair behind your ear, bite your lips over something. I want to be the reason you smile, the reason you rise, the reason you glow. There are many things I want to say to you dear Miss yet to come. But you know there are still many things left for you and me to experience and still many more that we have to experience together. 

Until then, I will wait for you. But please dear Miss yet to come don’t keep me waiting for long. I want to do so many things for you that this life feels so short and I don’t believe in reincarnations. But if it was possible to be reincarnated I want to be your partner in every life.
I’ll finish with this last quote.

“A course down the life track, there were people who met me back, who kept standing on the side track, they tried to bring me down, laughed whenever I had a fall, but then there was you standing there everytime, you held my hand, helped me stand, now when I am searching for you, where are you, lost in the Meadows, I need you.”

Waiting for you,
With lots of love,
Kumar Harsh 

Rainy letter

Dear Miss yet to come,
It was raining today in my backyard. Quickly I took out my car and set out for the lake. Do you remember the last time we were there together. We spent hours talking and then something amazing happened. The rain started to pour. The breeze had freshened with the moist soil and we were just walking, Drenched in this utter delight. I always told you not to tie your hair, because it was soothing to see your hair play with you. I had stopped you from tying your hair, I had never tied you. You were always a free woman, an independent, one that had her own identity. You know the best part of being with you was when you talked and I listened. The way your lips moved, the way your eyes escaped mine, the way you remembered that old story, the way you would sometime look at me. Everything was so perfect, so serene, mesmerizing, destined. Time was something that was ignored when you and me would be together. Just like the sand in the hour glass. It knows it is important, but still it has nowhere to go. I have met many people, been to many places, experienced things that were only described. But that satisfaction that I feel when I am with you is something experienced by a person stranded in a desert looking for water. Water is a source of inspiration for him, his only reason to keep moving, his only destination, His only goal. Nothing in this world is important to him than a soulful of water. You know water is the clearest of all. It cleanses deeply, reaches minutely and touches intensively. You are my Grail of water, my chance at redemption, my breath, the only light. Just as I was about to leave the rain stopped. But you know what they say, rain is the purest form of water. I have taken some of it in my wallet along with the same band you used to tie your hair with.

Waiting for you,

With lots of love,
Kumar Harsh 

A shooting star….

Dear Miss yet to come,
How can i ever forget the day we met. I don’t know how the gears of world move, how they affect the every screw, every fabric of the interconnected relations that bind the whole world together in a family we all term as humanity. Until today I believed that everything is happening just randomly, the stars twinkle, water sprinles over the lawn, the baby cries, cracks appear on the surface, people fade away from our memories, people collide, people become friends. But after today everything random appears to have a pattern. Stars twinkle because they tell that someone is there to light your world, water sprinles because it has to freshen up the grass, the fragrance of which can lure the imagination of a distant writer, baby cries because sometimes it is not always necessary to laugh, cracks appear to bare what lies beneath, people fade away so that they can collide with you unexpectedly and become friends for life. I never thought that I would meet a person like you ever in life for I believed that everything happened randomly. You have shaken my entire way of thinking, entire way of looking at things, a whole new perspective to see the man in the mirror. You know there was a time when I thought there is nothing new in trying. And why should I have tried anything new. My life was going randomly I used to tell myself. But then, I collided with you and I am really grateful to the force that is moving the gears of the world, connecting pieces of a huge jigsaw puzzle. You and me are just its part.
The day we met will always remain the day when I saw a shooting star cross by a star standing besides me.

Dear Beautiful..

Appearances can sometimes be deceptive
Realities can sometimes be harsh
But whenever You are with me
Appearances fade away in the realities of dreams.

Dear Beautiful,
life gives sometimes someone a perspective unimaginable, unintentional, wholly changing, deeply affecting.
My life was turned upside down the minute I saw you entering the portal of Earth, created, nurtured, grown by the utmost affection of the heavenly creatures with a patience unbound, unheld, entrenched with the beauty of perception.
I really want to tell you that your black eyes have made me lose my mind, flooded my mind with the dreams of life with you.
Hope that you have a wonderful life ahead.

As once said by a lover,

“The beauty of the body fades away but the beauty of the mind reincarnates, rejuvenates and replenishes.”