See that hot chick, she gave me a hint.

As I prepared to get on a busy Metro train after a tiring day at work I saw an extremely beautiful woman standing next in the line to me. My friend was standing along with me and he looked at her and exchanged looks. He passed a smile and so did she. 

He immediately turned to me and said, “See that hot chick, she gave me a hint.” 

As the train came I focussed all my energy on getting on it but my friend had a devilish smile. We got on it somehow and my friend left me to go after her. He came back after sometime. 

His face was red and he seemed a little upset. “All of them are Bi****s.” He said and I was a bit taken back. “What happened?” I asked and he was too angry to speak. Later on I got to know that when he approached the girl, she wasn’t interested in something of more personal. 

He continued, “Why did she gave me a hint if she did not want to do something?” 

I had no answer as I was never given such a hint ever before. The next day at the office, there was a party that was organised by the seniors who were leaving the company. Everyone was invited, so we went there too. There was as usual drinking of all sorts and every kind of thing one may find in a party such like this. Everyone was in the mood, even the girls of our office. 

I bet if I ask her to go with me, she won’t say no.” said my other friend who was with me and drinking. ” Girls from good family don’t do such type of things. They don’t party or wear such short clothes.” 

I came from a family where I and my sister were treated both as equals. My sister has been a part of the tennis team for almost all her schooling and college life. And I have always seen her dressed in the most comfortable clothes as possible. No one ever objected. Not my parents and I never listened to the ones except them. I have a habit of calling my mother every night before I sleep so she knows that I had dinner. If I don’t call her she cannot sleep. I had told her before of my party and she had asked me to take care. I called her first thing in the morning and she could guess with my voice that something was wrong.

What happened Karun?” she asked.

“nothing Ma.” I said.

“Take Care and have healthy food.” she said and I started to get ready for my office. But checked to find out that it was a holiday that day.

I rang up my sister who lived in other city. She picked up the phone and answered. “How are you little brother? Did you find a Girlfriend? Was her somewhat satirical comment she always would make on me.

“Who needs one when I have you?” I said and she melted. 

“What do you want” she asked and I had some questions which I need answers to.

“Did you ever give a hint?”  I asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“Did you ever gave a smile at a stranger when they smiled at you because that’s a hint?”

She didn’t answer me but asked me to meet her the weekend she would come to home. 

It was a day after we met at the house. Something had caused between us because of that conversation and she didn’t talk to me the way she talked. My mother was the first to notice and she immediately pointed out. “Nothing Ma”  my sister saved us, the way she always did. We both got comfortable and after  healthy chat we went to our rooms. My sister came to my room and sat besides me.  

“I am sorry if i hurt you.” I said. 

“I think I never had this talk with you before. I guess we should have talked about this before.” she said while adjusting the covers of my pillow. 

” Do you remember the day when I came back from the school and went straight to my room and didn’t open until Ma came, When after college Papa was so furious he almost was red with anger, when I came back from practice and the next day changed my location. Those were somethings a smile cost me or something people termed as a hint. “

There are at times when the sentiments of the moment take your tongue away and nothing can fill that silence except the sound of two beating hearts. 

I wasn’t sure what to say so I stood up and held her hand as she held the pillow tight in her palms.”It’s Okay Didi “,  I said and she just tapped my shoulder. 

You know Karun, I want to cry”, she said as she saw tears rolling down my eyes. “I feel sometimes do I commit a crime by asking for what I want to be or what or how I want to express. Why is that such a simple emotion of smile is interpreted in such different ways. Have we lost the sanctity of human emotions.”

I had never seen her like that before. She was the strongest person I had ever seen. Stronger than my father, than my mother. She was my guardian, my angel, my God. She cried like a baby that day and I wiped her tears. She wiped mine. 

I took the pillow from her which by now was strangled to death by those long held back emotions, which couldn’t see the light of the day because she wasn’t of a sex that the world wanted her to be. 

Didi”, I said “What you have achieved I don’t think I would be ever able to achieve that. My respect for you is always something I won’t ever be able to explain.” 

She moved her face towards me and said, “I know little brother.” and went out of the room smiling. 

I have always respected living beings just because of the two women in my house and my father who always taught me to treat a living as a living being first and then think of any other thing. 

My holidays ended and I went back to my city for my job. The daily routine started and I headed back to my office. I met my friend on the way and we shook hands and proceeded towards the station. We saw a beautiful woman yet again and saw her in an different dress we were used to. 

She definitely must be that type of girl.” my friend said to which I replied. ” That’s a great talent brother. When you can judge a person by their clothes, I think you must be interviewing the top most positions. The country needs people like you who can judge a person’s character by their clothes.” He couldn’t make an eye contact with me for the entire day. 

Back at office I got busy in the official work and took a break to get a cup of coffee. A lot can happen over coffee, I had seen a TV ad someday. I got to see it happen that day. 

You know Karun”, my floor manager came to me and said, “I have heard that our group mate is interested in you. She was asking about where you belonged and where do you live and how are you.”

“Oh is it.” I was excited as I had a liking for her. 

“But Karun, I will advice you to stay away from her. She drinks and parties. I don’t think she has a character one can rely upon. ” the Floor Manager commented. 

” Sir, have you seen a cuckoo bird. She sings so melodious. But she invades another nest, kills their kids and make it a home for her children. When someone so melodious can be so evil, we still are humans. And I think we have an evolutionary advantage of a better mind. Perception may not always be true. ” I told him politely. 

What you read above was all fictional. But I wrote this story with authenticity of emotions and sentiments. It has always been said that we need to save our girls so that they are safe. But the reality is, the girls can be safe only when our boys are taught to save themselves. We need to save our boys. We need to realise that a NO means No and that a simple smile isn’t an invitation for any type of favour. Respect a being for it is living first, then comes the purity of their heart. If one can see beyond the purity of heart then I don’t think that person will ever be deceived. Clothing is an expression of the mind and it should not be linked with the character of a person because character is something you make over the years. You don’t change it because it is old fashioned. Drinking has always been associated as wrong for women but not for some men who find it a matter of pride to drink. There is this popular TV ad about a scooter that has a tag line why should boys have all the fun. Indeed. Why should they when everything here is made for everyone here. Why is clothing or drinking or partying or even smiling considered a mark of bad character. Shouldn’t we look beyond them? 

 

The prompt for this post came from an excellent movie titled ‘Pink’ by Shoojit Sircar. I would highly recommend watching this movie. 

I now see a beautiful girl smiling at me. Is she giving me a hint? 

What do you say?  Should I take her home? Or should I go upto her and grab her hand? Or maybe if she rejects me I can go and throw acid on her? Will my manhood be questioned if she rejects me? What if she wishes more than to be someone’s wife? Should I strangle her and call it a suicide? Or beat her until she suppresses her emotions? 



Or maybe it could be a start of a beautiful friendship.. 



You tell me. Should I proceed? 

Advertisements

The unfair advantage… 

After a long gap, I came out of my home to visit some friends that had come back to the city. I met them and we headed for a movie. The ticket line was already full with people looking to buy a ticket for themselves for a latest release. So, we also joined them in the same quest. Right then we noticed another line parallel to us which was quite empty as compared to the one we were standing. I asked my friend who as usual was busy admiring the beauty around him( that’s what he says) to go and get into that line. The person behind me said. ” No use brother, that line is for ladies.” When I reached the counter all the best spots were gone and we had to watch the movie up close and personal.

We came back questioning every femine, every quest for equality that the opposite gender demands. We started listing all the irritants that we fail to notice everyday. 

“These women demand equality so much that I feel that I am no one in front of them. ” commented my other friend when we told him about our ordeal the other day. He too added his own versions of the story.” I was coming home after a long week and was waiting at the bus stop for tickets. Every girl got a ticket and we stood for the whole night waiting there for a ticket. This is not right.

“We are humans as well. We don’t ask for anything that doesn’t mean we don’t need it. “he was angry.

And then came the stories of trials and tribulations of men at the hands of women.  Everyone was fed up by this treatment being given to the women. We were looking to vent out our anger so we decided to head up to a food stall we usually go to. We had ordered and we’re waiting for our food to arrive and in the mean time continued our expressions of anger against the other gender. We cursed ourselves for being born as a male. We were angry. Very angry.

Then we saw something really disturbing.

There was a group of three very young men. They were trying to get close to two girls who were there, enjoying their food. They were very persistent in their attempt to somehow get close to them. The girls gave them hard looks but still they didn’t back off. I got a little angry at what I was seeing, started to head towards them but they ran away. Everyone of us was mute after this,  went back home, nobody spoke.

We forgot all of this until a day I met a girl in my college festival. We soon became friends. My other friend always used to irritate her by saying that you people have the most unfair advantage. You are women and nobody questions the claim of a woman. You people are given preference everywhere and anywhere and that you can have always what you want.

It was one day I was talking to her when guessing from her responses, I thought that something was not right. “What happened?” I asked her. “Nothing”  she said. But on pressuring her she told me what had happened.

“I was coming from the market after buying some groceries. There was a boy on a bike. He followed me and was constantly making rounds around me. I stopped him and slapped him. He said he knew my home. I am terrified. I told this to my Uncle. We have reported it to the police. But I fear going out.” 

I was stunned. Didn’t know what to respond. I immediately called her and tried to console her.

” It’s normal. Don’t worry. How was your day? ” she said.

I had no words to say after this. I hung up saying that someone else was calling me.

After meeting her, I got an opportunity to meet her other friends and in due course of time, I started knowing their stories.

” My parents are not allowing me to go to that foreign University I was selected in. After college I am marrying. “

There were days when they acted completely different. Completely opposite from their usual self. Getting angry, backaches, cramps, they complained about everything and anything. That’s when I came to know what was Periods. It was my first experience to know about this bloody process that happens every month, right from the day puberty hits you until the day it stops. I was taken aback. We don’t have to be conscious about our pants. We don’t need to be cautious if any blood spots would be visible. We don’t care. I thought

Then there were series of filthy messages and photos that were forwarded to me by my female friends who had received them when casually they had started a conversation with somebody they knew,  at some point of their life.

” Are you Single?”, we are used to hearing this everyday,  she said when after a long walk on the lake she was telling about her experience on a social networking site.
My perception about women changed a lot that day. All my life I have seen my mother taking care of all three of us inspite of whatever storm she was going through and never let us have any insight. She is the strongest women I have ever met along with my grandmother who fought with their own families so that their children, their husbands can live a better life. They sacrificed everything for us. Their career, their aspirations, their dreams so that they could live their dreams through us.

Women, yes they have the most unfair advantage,  we men can never have and that is the strength they very cautiously hide in a veil of softness the world very conveniently assumes to be their weakness.

In India, we address our Goddess as Maa which in English is mother. I have seen Maa Ambey, Maa Parvati, Maa Durga, Saraswati Mata. They are so calm and so gentle and yet they are ferocious like a lioness. Whenever something happened to their child, Maa becomes a force unparallel to any other force in the world. If she constructs, she destroys as well. If she gives life, she takes one as well. 

A women is one true picture of sacrifice that I had an opportunity to witness. Maybe because of the limited interaction I had with the few women I met over this time.

I feel myself lucky to have met those women that brought out a new me, given me new dimensions to everything I see around. 

This is my personal opinion that still today talking about women issues is considered a taboo atleast in Indian families. We usually don’t discuss about things such as harassment, eve teasing, dowry, domestic violence, periods. Still I have met many people who find it a matter of pride to lock their wives into chains of household chores, their daughters entangled in a Web of family pressure, honor killings. Still, it’s a shame on us, there is one side of us that bends down in respect of the Maa and the other that doesn’t move an inch when the same gender is being molested in Complete sight.

We need to start teaching our children that respecting a women is respecting something sacred and divine. We need to shred our shells and explain our children what it means to respect anyone, be it living or dead. Ego is poison to the mind. It corrupts it and malfunctions it. Equality is just not about providing rights to the neglected. It is absorbing them in the stream where everyone else flows.

I am not a supporter of feminism nor in any way I am inclined to any religious ideologies. But I really feel that there is something more powerful than any of us,  the one force that has created us, that has given us the power to design ourselves. Everything came from it. Be it me, you, an elephant, a whale, that little ant or even that speck of dust lying in front of you. When a force so powerful can be so humble and so calm, we all are just an atom or maybe smaller than it.
But like everything has a bright and a dark side. There are exceptions as well. And these exceptions are in both the genders. Male or female, they will use it till you are dry.

Who says we should be perfect. Perfection till yet only that force has achieved. We can never be perfect because perfection requires far greater sacrifice than anyone of us can ever give. But we are not here to achieve perfection. That is not our motto, not our goal. Our goal is survival. Survival requires struggle. So while we struggle, why not share this with our complementary. 

Women do have an unfair advantage.