Underground

It was when I was buried deep underground,

No identity, nothing to prove,

That I realised,

Life sometime pulls you back,

To places where you despise,

To situations unimagined,

Maybe this all be worth someday,

You tell yourselves each day,

And offer some midnight oil,

Nutrition of hopes to your dreams,

Maybe this all would add to something big,

Maybe an Ocean,

Or become part of you,

Scars to your body,

Scratches to your mind,

Wounds that might never heal,

Real friends,

Family,

Someone you can care for the rest of your life,

There would come a day,

The pieces of the puzzle will come together,

And you’ll come out,

A better version of yourself,

A Fighter,

A Loser,

A Winner……

K.H

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It’s hard

It’s hard I know,

The people that had once been your compatriot become aloof of your being,

Dejected, taken for granted you seem,

Everything looks like it’s falling apart,

Piece by piece, little by little,

It’s hard I know,

To find yourself in the mirror,

That smile, that glimmer of something merrier,

And hope and faith and that valour,

To pull yourself together,

It’s hard I know,

The winds against your stream,

The tide against your dream,

You sink, you drown,

You cry, you shout,

But nobody could listen,

But nobody could hear,

It’s hard I know,

Time passes like sand through fingers,

Time passes like a second a thousand years,

And when darkness prevails,

Sun doesn’t seem so near,

Your ghosts pull you down,

Shake you, tear you inside and out,

Fear becomes the order of the day,

And the end seems so near,

It’s hard I know,

It takes away your soul I conjure,

I know you can’t take it no more,

But hold on to it,

Hold on to yourself and your fears,

Your dreams, your desires and all those near,

For it takes a volcano and a billion years,

A diamond is the one which stays forever,

You have the power all within,

And believe me when I say this to you,

It will all get better,

It’s hard I know,

But you are harder than the thousand fears…..

नूर….

बारिश में भी आज कुछ नमी सी है,

ऐ दिल तुझमें कुछ आज कमी सी है,

रुक सी गयी है क्यूँ ये हवाएँ,

बेजान सी जाने क्यूँ लग रहीं हर दिशाएँ,

ना जाने क्यूँ आज छुप गया है सूरज भी बादलों में,

क्यूँ शर्मा के इसने मोड़ ली निगाहें,

सागर भी ले रहा है आज अंगड़ाइयां,

लहरे इसकी कर रही गुस्ताखियाँ,

फिर देखता हूँ जब वो नूर तेरा,

शब्द ढूँढता है यह ज़मीर मेरा,

बेज़ुबान हो जाती यह हस्ती मेरी,

और खिल जाता यह जहाँ तेरा,

हर ज़र्रा तब पुकारता है मज़हब तेरा,

अल्लाह हू,

हू अल्लाह…..

रोशनी

रोशनी का भी क्या कोई मुक़ाम होगा,

ना जाने क्यूँ फिर ये रोशन कर जाती है कई सर्द रातें,

बेजान में फूँक जाती है ये बेबाक़ जान,

इल्म ही नहीं इसे शायद,

क्या मुकम्मल इसकी बाज़ुएँ हैं,

ये है तो सब है,

ये नहीं तो क्या है…..

I am Afraid…..

What is fear?

Is it the sensation that always keeps you on your toes?

Or is it the shivers that runs down your spine every-time you experience the unexpected?

People say that fear has many effects on them. For some it acts as a catalyst, pushing them to their limits. For others it maybe be an inhibitor that chokes down their throats, making it hard to breathe.

I had once believed fear of the unknown is thrilling. The adrenaline rush, the rushlanes. Everything seemed so mystic, so divine that it felt as if its all part of a bigger plan. But things started to fall apart. My plan of becoming big at a younger age seemed a lost cause. And why did this happen? For starters it seemed easy. Accepting defeat at the hands of my greatest fear. It made me feel a little more relaxed than the days before. A little complacent, a little more aware of my surroundings. It felt as giving up on overcoming my fears is the practical choice as life is about moving on.

My fear was the fear of a failure because for the first time in my life, I got a real sense of what failure was like. Its like falling deep down an endless hole in the ground, like a piece of paper that drifts hopelessly in the wind without any purpose or worth. It started getting to my veins. Everything around me turned into a concoction of some serious malaise, something looking me every-time I ventured outside my zone of comfort or my room which had become my only partner in this journey. Its the time like these you realise that loneliness can both be a boon and a bane and that there would be times when you’ll want to be alone with just a few very important people, few very close, intimate people that may share the vision same as yours. Those people came to my life in the form of my loving family, my parents, brother, my two adorable pets and two of the most amazing people life gave me a gift of. This family, this little globe of mine soon turned into my cocoon which I could always be comfortable in because they had the audacity to care of anyone more than just themselves. They would listen to me break down everytime I would hit rock bottom, gave me the strength to stand again and face my fears. I had at one point of my life started to think that maybe this is my fate, that this is what I am supposed to do. But they made me believe otherwise. A bird has faith in its wings, they would say and make me take a leap of faith once again, everytime failure dragged me down and pinned me under.

This process, fighting your fear might look too complicated. It surely is difficult but maybe it isn’t such a conundrum as we might think it is. It isn’t about a timeframe or a test of anything thats physical. The body can do things only the mind can wonder. It isn’t a race either wherein you’ll be a winner only if you came at first. The world is replete with examples of people who dared to fail, who dared to think that maybe someday it would all be worth it, that maybe life is all about trying it until it gets done.

I have believed in the sanctity of dreams, the power of imagination and the will of the mind because these things are ingrained in a being right from the day one gets a heartbeat in a womb. Dreams are what makes us humans and trying to achieve them is the most humane thing to do until and unless it involves crushing down dreams or lives of others which in no religion or language or culture of the world is acceptable.

Fear is a part of the human psychosis and would be there for eternity. For fear is what makes a man do things that once he wouldn’t have ever imagined. Fear is necessary as the sudden rush of adrenaline gives you the horsepower to steam full ahead and barge on the doors of success until it finally breaks and lets you in.

So as I part with a little something that’s been going on with me for sometime now, I just want to tell you it’s okay to be feared. I am too.

You are stronger than what you think you are.

FULL STEAM AHEAD…..!!!!!!!!

Mist Air…..

She was slowly diminished from his memory,

The words, the skin and all the roses red,

A century might have passed since I saw her,

He exclaimed while he strolled,

Her smell, her touch and oh god that beautiful hair,

Lost in the shadows among the unnamed,

She was still there,

But nowhere here,

They say time heals the worst of all scars,

She was his time and he was her mist air…….

Night

As the night slowly descends,

The ghosts of the past,

The mistakes, the lost and the smothered,

The boy scared to his deepest bones,

Prepares himself for them,

Those that have chased him for eternity,

Hopelessness, despair and plight,

Everynight they come,

Sometimes shrivels him in his sleep,

Sometimes drop him to the trenches deep,

The boy scared and lonely,

Closes his eyes and tell himself each day,

This all would be worth someday,

For the night is not eternal,

For the plight is not eternal…..

Clouds

It is the days like these that I realise,

The biting scorch and the igneous rock,

The wind that keeps me alive,

The water that keeps me afloat,

All just become a medium to survive,

The warmth of your skin,

And the moist of your kiss,

Are like clouds,

To this mighty sphere…..

A family of 1000

Its been five years since my journey of blogging had started. An amazing ride full of all emotions, met so many spectacular people here. Its a privilege to be a part of the blogging community.

Thank you all the 1000 family members. This was not possible without your love and support.

I may not be a regular. But you always pull me back.

Thank you!

Dear Miss yet to come…..